46 Facts About Mr. T

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Topic: 46 Facts About Mr. T

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CALOSS

MZ VIP

Status: Offline

Posts: 2732

Date: 02:22 08/16 2007

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Every time a church bell rings, Mr. T pities a fool.
When Mr. T folds his arms, the U.S. Terror Alert Level is raised to gold.
The last man who made eye contact with Mr. T was Ray Charles.
Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is always understood.
Children are afraid of the dark. Dark is afraid of Mr. T.
Mr T. and Chuck Norris decided to spar, they travelled to the only safe place in the Universe, the beginning of time. They bowed to each other and Chuck launched in with a roundhouse kick. Mr. T blocked it, and the resulting pressure wave is commonly called the Big Bang.
Mr.T once punched Chuck Norris at the exact moment he roundhouse kicked Mr.T in the chest. the result was the 80's.
Mr. T doesn't breathe, air just hides in his lungs for protection.
Mr T's chains are not made of gold, they are actually made of curium, one of the heaviest elements in existence. They were put there by the CIA to slow him down, and you're lucky they do, fool.
Human females have two X chromosomes. Males have an X and a Y. Mr. T has three Ys and a T. He's more man than you'll ever be.
5 out of 5 doctors recommend not pissing off Mr. T.
When creating the alphabet, Mr. T placed the letters M, R, and T in seperate areas so people could learn to read and spell without fear.
Mr. T is the reason the sky is blue. Don't ask stupid questions.
Mr. T once ate four 72 oz. steaks in 12 minutes. He spent the first 5 minutes laughing at the fact it takes Chuck Norris fifteen minutes to eat three.
Mr. T once captured Bigfoot, but released him after he shaved the beast and realized that it was just Chuck Norris walking around naked in the woods.
Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created Pity.
When Mr. T was circumsized his foreskin was not disposed of. Instead it was raised as a normal child, and it grew to love the game of basketball. Today we know Mr. T's foreskin as Shaquille O'Neal.
When Mr. T received his star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame, he made his hand prints after the cement was dry.
Mr. T is not black. It's just that the sun is to afraid to shine on him.
On the A-team, Face , Haniabal, and Murdoch were all masters of disguise. Mr T didn't have to wear a disguise. The bad guys didn't recognize him out of fear.
Mr. T coined the phrase, "I see dead people," after the waiting staff at Denny's forgot his birthday.
There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Mr. T is going to walk.
Mr. T does not actually pity fools. He is just being sarcastic. No one has noticed because it is difficult to pick up such subtleties while being bludgeoned.
Gravity dosen't exist. Mr. T just pities everything to stay down. Birds and planes are exempt beacuse they are shaped like Ts.
Mr. T was once involved in a head-on car crash, and he was the only survivor. Mr. T was walking at the time.
Mr. T's mohawk is so scared of Mr. T, that it started running to his beard for help.
Mr. T's feather earrings are actually feathers from a foolish bird that he pitied.
Mr. T wasn't afraid of flying on the A-Team, he just faked it so a "nigg* could get paid"
Mr. T invented the Civil Rights movement
Mr. T invented the X-Ray, the G-String, the R-Rating and Jay-Z after a late-night drunken bender caused him to momentarily forget which letter he was.
Complaining of back pain, Atlas once asked Mr. T to hold up the world for him. Mr. T agreed, on the condition that in exchange Atlas would wear Mr. T's golden necklaces. After five minutes of excruciating pain, Atlas asked for the world back.
Statistically speaking, you're more likely to be pitied by Mr. T, than you are to have feet.
Brigadier General Donald Alston once glimpsed Mr. T in a K-Mart wearing an American-flag wife-beater. He now refuses to salute anyone else.
Mr. T always has room for Jell-o.
Mr. T comes with an FDA warning on his side which reads "In case of Pity, please remove all lose articles and prepare for helluva far throwing."
Mr. T, in an attempt to become the "standard" for brewed tea, once kicked Earl Grey's ass.
When he found out he would lose the rematch while making Rocky III, Mr. T administered to Sylvester Stallone an angy look. Seeing Mr. T's anger broke every bone in Slys face, left him mildly retarded and unable to remember the incident. To this day, Sly has no idea why he s**ts his pants at the mere sight of a black man with a mohawk.
Mr. T's edition of the VH1 show Where Are They Now was the shortest in the shows history. It was 10 seconds long, and consisted of a black screen with the words Right Behind You written on it.
Mr. T's pity for fools is used by mathematicians as a demonstration of the concept of infinity.
Mr. T once bit off more than he could chew. He ate it anyway.
Behind every great man, there is a great woman. Behind that woman is Mr. T.
Mr. T puts the laughter in manslaughter.
The last time Mr. T went to McDonalds, Ronald McDonald greeted him. What occured next proved to be the most violent beating of a clown ever recorded in human history.
All human life can be traced centuries back to a single black woman in Africa. Mr. T was her booty call.
THE LAST MAN WHO QUESTIONED MR T. WAS SADDAM, AND HE WAS HUNG. ---submitted by james. Our comments - Wow James, that was great. In all caps even! You must have spent forever coming up with that one. Common...you can do better...
Mr. T once clocked in at over 451 FPPS.
Fools Pitied Per Second.