A traveling salesman checked into a futuristic motel. Realizing he
needed a haircut before the next day's meeting, he called down to the
desk clerk to ask if there was a barber on the premises. "I'm
afraid not, sir," the clerk told him apologetically, "but down the
hall from your room is a vending machine that should serve your purposes."

Skeptical but intrigued, the salesman located the machine, inserted
50 cents, and stuck his head into the opening, at which time the
machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later the salesman
pulled out his head and surveyed his reflection, which reflected the
best haircut of his life.

Two feet away was another machine with a sign that read, 'Manicures,
25 Cents.' "Why not?" thought the salesman. He paid the money,
inserted his hands into the slot, pulled them out and they were
perfectly manicured.

The next machine had a sign that read, 'This Machine Provides a
Service Men Need When Away from Their Wives, 50 Cents.'
The salesman looked both ways, put fifty cents in the machine, unzipped his fly, and with some anticipation, stuck his penis into the opening.
When the machine started buzzing, the guy let out a shriek of agony.
Fifteen seconds later it shut off and, with trembling hands, the salesman was able to withdraw his penis...now with a button sewed on the end of it...