Forum: Funny Stuff
Share all jokes here, funny pics etc...(PS...warn members of uncensored/adult jokes)
Funny Look-A-Likes - These look-a-likes could almost be twins!
May 22, 2009
Started By PrincessLeah — 1 Comments
Siiiiiick Rainbow - Sometimes nature isn't so complicated - This is why I learn everything I know from cartoons
May 22, 2009
Started By PrincessLeah — 2 Comments
G-String on Dark Buns - would definitly bite 'em LMAO, it's not what you think!!!!!!
May 21, 2009
Started By PrincessLeah — 11 Comments
IT's NOT WHAT YOU THINK
Scroll Down!!!!
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Close Shave...Interesting choice of words for this newspaper headline (Warning:X-rated!)
May 22, 2009
Started By PrincessLeah — 1 Comments
A lion woke up one morning feeling really rowdy and mean.
He went out and cornered a small monkey, and roared, "Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?"
The trembling monkey says, "You are, mighty lion!"
Later, the lion confronts an ox and fiercely bellows, "Who is the mightiest of all jungle animals?"
The terrified ox stammers, "Oh great lion, you are the mightiest animal in the jungle!"
On a roll now, the lion swaggers up to an elephant and roars, "Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?"
Fast as lightning, the elephant snatches up the lion with his trunk, slams him against a tree half a dozen times leaving the lion feeling like it'd been run over by a safari wagon.
The elephant then stomps on the lion till it looks like a corn tortilla and rambles away.
The lion lets out a moan of pain, lifts his head weakly and hollers after the elephant, "Just because you don't know the answer, you don't have to get so upset about it!"
He went out and cornered a small monkey, and roared, "Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?"
The trembling monkey says, "You are, mighty lion!"
Later, the lion confronts an ox and fiercely bellows, "Who is the mightiest of all jungle animals?"
The terrified ox stammers, "Oh great lion, you are the mightiest animal in the jungle!"
On a roll now, the lion swaggers up to an elephant and roars, "Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?"
Fast as lightning, the elephant snatches up the lion with his trunk, slams him against a tree half a dozen times leaving the lion feeling like it'd been run over by a safari wagon.
The elephant then stomps on the lion till it looks like a corn tortilla and rambles away.
The lion lets out a moan of pain, lifts his head weakly and hollers after the elephant, "Just because you don't know the answer, you don't have to get so upset about it!"
Mike Epps, All-Star Rappers Celebrate Tupac's B-Day
May 22, 2009
Started By musicman_77_99 — 1 Comments
Afeni Shakurs Tupac Center for the Arts will host a star-studded benefit concert next month in celebration of the late Tupac Shakurs birthday.
Partnering with Ms. Shakur is comedian Mike Epps, who will co-host the event with M1 of Dead Prez.
Even with the promotional requirements of his national comedy tour and the new film Next Day Air, Epps did not hesitate to offer his assistance to the Shakur estate.
Im a long-time fan of Pacs music. Its always been the soundtrack for overcoming struggle and when my life was in a desolate place it was his messages that helped bring me through, Epps explained to AllHipHop.com. I wouldnt be where I am today if it wasnt for his inspiration. Its an honor for me to stand alongside his mother, Afeni Shakur, in celebrating such a personal moment in her sons history.
Other confirmed celebrities for the event include Jasmine Guy, Ludacris, Big Boi, Jim Jones, Juelz Santana, Rich Boy, Playaz Circle, and Lil Scrappy.
This September will mark the 13th anniversary of Tupacs still-unsolved murder at the age of 25.
As another generation begins to get exposed to her sons life, Afeni Shakur continues to marvel at Tupacs continued influence around the world.
This concert celebration is an expression of my gratitude for all of Tupac's fans for continuing to support and love my son. Pac's life was a gift from God, stated Ms. Shakur. We continue to carry on Pac's legacy via his art and thr foundation.
The concert will be held at the Tupac Amaru Shakur Center for the Arts, located on 5616 Memorial Drive in Stone Mountain, GA.
Tickets are priced at $25 and will be available through www.ticketmaster.com.
Creative World - some very creative art and photography (30+ pics)
May 22, 2009
Started By PrincessLeah — 0 Comments
This farmer has about 200 hens, but no rooster and he wants chicks. So, he goes down the road to the next farmer and asks if he has a rooster. The other farmer says, "Yeah, I've got this great rooster, named Randy; he'll service every chicken you've got. No problem."
Well , Randy the rooster is a lot of money, but the farmer decides he'd be worth it. So , he buys Randy. The farmer takes Randy home and sets him down in the barnyard, giving the rooster a pep talk, " Randy, I want you to pace yourself now. You've got a lot of chickens to service here and you cost me a lot of money and I'll need you to do a good job. So, take your time and have some fun," the farmer said with a chuckle.
Randy seemed to understand, so the farmer points towards the hen house and Randy took off like a shot ~WHAM~ He nails every hen on there THREE or FOUR times and the farmer is just shocked. Randy runs out of the hen house and sees a flock of geese down by the lake ~WHAM~ He gets all the geese. Randy's up in the pigpen. He's in with the cows. Randy is jumping on every animal the farmer owns.
The farmer is distraught, worried that his expensive rooster won't even last the day. Sure enough, the farmer goes to bed and wakes up the next day to find Randy dead as a doorknob in the middle of the yard. Buzzards are circling overhead.
The farmer, saddened by the loss of such a colorful animal , shakes his head and says, "Oh, Randy, I told you to pace yourself. I tried to get you to slow down, now look what you've done to yourself." Randy opens one eye, nods towards the sky and say's , "Shhh. They're getting closer...."
Well , Randy the rooster is a lot of money, but the farmer decides he'd be worth it. So , he buys Randy. The farmer takes Randy home and sets him down in the barnyard, giving the rooster a pep talk, " Randy, I want you to pace yourself now. You've got a lot of chickens to service here and you cost me a lot of money and I'll need you to do a good job. So, take your time and have some fun," the farmer said with a chuckle.
Randy seemed to understand, so the farmer points towards the hen house and Randy took off like a shot ~WHAM~ He nails every hen on there THREE or FOUR times and the farmer is just shocked. Randy runs out of the hen house and sees a flock of geese down by the lake ~WHAM~ He gets all the geese. Randy's up in the pigpen. He's in with the cows. Randy is jumping on every animal the farmer owns.
The farmer is distraught, worried that his expensive rooster won't even last the day. Sure enough, the farmer goes to bed and wakes up the next day to find Randy dead as a doorknob in the middle of the yard. Buzzards are circling overhead.
The farmer, saddened by the loss of such a colorful animal , shakes his head and says, "Oh, Randy, I told you to pace yourself. I tried to get you to slow down, now look what you've done to yourself." Randy opens one eye, nods towards the sky and say's , "Shhh. They're getting closer...."
Cheerleader Faces - I wonder what they're seeing!?! LMAO
May 21, 2009
Started By PrincessLeah — 26 Comments
Surprise butsecks - Elephant Style!! i guess he was curious!!!LMAO
May 21, 2009
Started By PrincessLeah — 8 Comments
MEDIAZONE U NEED TO SEE ThIS - Say Fire Truck (Rated R) The ORIGINAL!
January 28, 2009
Started By ANDREDESIGNZ — 24 Comments
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A policeman pulled a car over and told the driver he had won $5,000 dollars in the seatbelt competition.
"What are you going to do with the money?" asked the policeman.
"Well, I guess I'm going to get a drivers license", he answered.
"Oh, don't listen to him," said a woman in the passenger seat, "He's a smart ass when he's drunk."
Then the guy in the backseat said, "I knew we wouldn't get far in a stolen car."
At that moment there was a knock from the trunk and a voice said, "Are we over the border yet?"
"What are you going to do with the money?" asked the policeman.
"Well, I guess I'm going to get a drivers license", he answered.
"Oh, don't listen to him," said a woman in the passenger seat, "He's a smart ass when he's drunk."
Then the guy in the backseat said, "I knew we wouldn't get far in a stolen car."
At that moment there was a knock from the trunk and a voice said, "Are we over the border yet?"
A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away.
The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land, for $150."
The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home.
The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your wife home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $150?"
The man replied, "Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance."
The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land, for $150."
The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home.
The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your wife home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $150?"
The man replied, "Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance."
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
______________________________
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
_____________________________
SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.
_____________________________
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
_____________________________
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
______________________________
LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
______________________________
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
_____________________________
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
_____________________________
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
______________________________
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
_____________________________
SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.
_____________________________
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
_____________________________
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
______________________________
LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
______________________________
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
_____________________________
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
_____________________________
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
Three old friends pass away together in an accident and go to heaven.
When they arrive, St. Peter says, "We have only one rule here in Heaven... don't step on the ducks."
So they enter heaven and, sure enough, there are ducks all over the place.
It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, one of the friends accidentally steps on one.
Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest woman the man has ever seen.
St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly woman!"
The next day, the second friend accidentally steps on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing, and with him is another extremely ugly woman.
He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first friend.
The third friend observes all this and not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly woman, is very, VERY careful where he steps.
He manages to go months without stepping on any duck but one day St. Peter comes up to him with the most gorgeous woman he has ever laid eyes on... a very tall, tan, curvaceous, sexy blonde.
St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.
The man asks, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all eternity?"
The women replies, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck."
When they arrive, St. Peter says, "We have only one rule here in Heaven... don't step on the ducks."
So they enter heaven and, sure enough, there are ducks all over the place.
It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, one of the friends accidentally steps on one.
Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest woman the man has ever seen.
St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly woman!"
The next day, the second friend accidentally steps on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing, and with him is another extremely ugly woman.
He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first friend.
The third friend observes all this and not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly woman, is very, VERY careful where he steps.
He manages to go months without stepping on any duck but one day St. Peter comes up to him with the most gorgeous woman he has ever laid eyes on... a very tall, tan, curvaceous, sexy blonde.
St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.
The man asks, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all eternity?"
The women replies, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck."
Three nuns decided to quit so they went to the Mother Superior and said, "We don't want to be nuns anymore, how do we quit?"
The mother told them, "Do something unholy and come back here in 24 hours."
So the nuns left thinking, "What can I do that's unholy?"
The next day they went to the mother one at a time.
The mother said to the first nun, "What unholy thing did you do?"
The nun replied, "I stole a kid's bike."
The mother said, "I guess that will do, go drink some holy water."
When the nun did she wasn't a nun anymore and she left the convent.
The second nun walked in and the mother said, "What unholy thing did you do?"
The nun replied, "I slept with a married man!"
The mother said, "Well, that's sinning. Go drink holy water."
The third nun walked in and the mother said, "What unholy thing did you do?"
The third nun said proudly, "I pissed in the holy water!"
The mother told them, "Do something unholy and come back here in 24 hours."
So the nuns left thinking, "What can I do that's unholy?"
The next day they went to the mother one at a time.
The mother said to the first nun, "What unholy thing did you do?"
The nun replied, "I stole a kid's bike."
The mother said, "I guess that will do, go drink some holy water."
When the nun did she wasn't a nun anymore and she left the convent.
The second nun walked in and the mother said, "What unholy thing did you do?"
The nun replied, "I slept with a married man!"
The mother said, "Well, that's sinning. Go drink holy water."
The third nun walked in and the mother said, "What unholy thing did you do?"
The third nun said proudly, "I pissed in the holy water!"
An Israeli doctor says, "Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him looking for work in six weeks."
A German doctor says, "That is nothing; we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks."
A Russian doctor says, "In my country, medicine is so advanced that we can take half a heart out of one person, put it in another, and have them both looking for work in two weeks."
The Texas doctor, not to be outdone, says, "You guys are way behind, we recently took a man with no brains out of Texas, put him in the White House for eight years, and now half the country is looking for work."
A German doctor says, "That is nothing; we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks."
A Russian doctor says, "In my country, medicine is so advanced that we can take half a heart out of one person, put it in another, and have them both looking for work in two weeks."
The Texas doctor, not to be outdone, says, "You guys are way behind, we recently took a man with no brains out of Texas, put him in the White House for eight years, and now half the country is looking for work."
Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous.
They are always getting into trouble and their parents know if any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved.
The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys.
The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually.
The mother sent the 8 year old in the morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon.
The preacher, a huge man with a deep booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Do you know where God is, son?"
The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open.
So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God?!"
Again, the boy made no attempt to answer.
The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "WHERE is GOD?!"
The boy screamed & bolted from the room, ran directly home & dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.
When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked "What happened?"
The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time!"
"GOD is missing, and they think WE did it!"
They are always getting into trouble and their parents know if any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved.
The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys.
The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually.
The mother sent the 8 year old in the morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon.
The preacher, a huge man with a deep booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Do you know where God is, son?"
The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open.
So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God?!"
Again, the boy made no attempt to answer.
The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "WHERE is GOD?!"
The boy screamed & bolted from the room, ran directly home & dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.
When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked "What happened?"
The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time!"
"GOD is missing, and they think WE did it!"
Three women: one engaged, one married, and one a mistress, are chatting about their relationships and decide to amaze their men.
That night all three will wear a leather bodice S&M style, stiletto's and mask over their eyes.
After a few days they meet again.....
The engaged girlfriend: The other night, when my boyfriend came back home, he found me with the leather bodice, 12 cm stilettos and mask. He saw me he said: "you are the woman of my life, I love you'...then we made love all night long."
The mistress: Ah! me too, the other night I met my lover in the office and I was wearing the leather bodice, mega stilettos, mask over my eyes and a raincoat, when I opened the raincoat... he did not say anything.....but we made wild passionate love all night.
The married one: The other night I sent the kids to stay at my mother's for the night, I got myself ready: leather bodice, super stilettos and mask over my eyes....my husband comes back from work, opens the door and says: "Hi Batman, what's for dinner?"
That night all three will wear a leather bodice S&M style, stiletto's and mask over their eyes.
After a few days they meet again.....
The engaged girlfriend: The other night, when my boyfriend came back home, he found me with the leather bodice, 12 cm stilettos and mask. He saw me he said: "you are the woman of my life, I love you'...then we made love all night long."
The mistress: Ah! me too, the other night I met my lover in the office and I was wearing the leather bodice, mega stilettos, mask over my eyes and a raincoat, when I opened the raincoat... he did not say anything.....but we made wild passionate love all night.
The married one: The other night I sent the kids to stay at my mother's for the night, I got myself ready: leather bodice, super stilettos and mask over my eyes....my husband comes back from work, opens the door and says: "Hi Batman, what's for dinner?"
A lady walks into a pharmacy and asks the
pharmacist for some arsenic.
The pharmacist asks "Ma'am, what do you want with arsenic?"
The lady says "To kill my husband."
"I can't sell you any for that reason," says the pharmacist.
The lady then reaches into her purse and pulls out a photo of her husband having sex with the pharmacist's wife.
He looks at the photo and says Oh, pardon me, I didn't realize you had a prescription.
pharmacist for some arsenic.
The pharmacist asks "Ma'am, what do you want with arsenic?"
The lady says "To kill my husband."
"I can't sell you any for that reason," says the pharmacist.
The lady then reaches into her purse and pulls out a photo of her husband having sex with the pharmacist's wife.
He looks at the photo and says Oh, pardon me, I didn't realize you had a prescription.
Unusual Bathroom Signs - I wonder what the bathrooms look like?????
May 21, 2009
Started By PrincessLeah — 3 Comments
P0RN For Animals - The wild kingdom likes to be kinky too! LMAO, ROFL!!!
May 21, 2009
Started By PrincessLeah — 18 Comments
If Drugs Were Legal.....You would probably see a lot of fine products like these at your local store!
May 21, 2009
Started By PrincessLeah — 7 Comments
Yep, I've been doing crack.... pictures aren't posting.... I must be stoned out of my mind 
-- Edited by PrincessLeah on Thursday 21st of May 2009 11:35:08 PM
-- Edited by PrincessLeah on Thursday 21st of May 2009 11:37:05 PM
Medical Ganja..... Some types of medical marijuana that are available (& their prices!!!) LOL
May 21, 2009
Started By PrincessLeah — 16 Comments
Back Tattoos (tramp stamps)- ; might as well be a bullseye! (25 pics)
May 22, 2009
Started By PrincessLeah — 3 Comments
Peeping Thongs - These girls keep their pants lower and lower!!
May 21, 2009
Started By PrincessLeah — 8 Comments
So Romantic - A happy couple, horses, beautiful water, what a pretty photo! Err, wait a minute... is that a Jamaican?
May 21, 2009
Started By PrincessLeah — 6 Comments
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