This striking bright green snake, commonly known as Gumprecht's green pit viper, is found in the Southeast Asian region of Greater Mekong.


Snakefish can be up to over a metre in length and over 6 kilograms in weight. Most snakefish are 2-3 feet long. Some describe snakefish as having a voracious appetite, often consuming all other fish in a lake or pond and even eating its young. It can slither across land, staying out of water for up to three days, to find new sources of food. Norton also warns that once on land snakeheads can eat almost any small animal in its path. They have even attacked people in China who got too close to snakehead egg nesting areas.


This Terminator look-alike is a Giant Isopod (Bathynomus giganteus), a carnivorous crustacean that spends its time scavenging the deep ocean floor, up to 6,000ft down on the seabed where there is no light. In the pitch black and cold, they survive by feasting on dead and decaying fish and other marine animals.


Considered by locals as a harbinger of misfortune, the Aye-aye is one of the world's most rare and bizarre looking primates. To the Malagasy people, the aye-aye is magical, and believed to bring death to the village it appears in; therefore they're often killed on sight. The aye-aye is the world's largest nocturnal primate with an average head and body length of 16 inches (40 centimeters), a long bushy tail of 2 feet (61 centimeters) long, and weighs about 4 pounds (2 kilos). The Aye-aye has large beady eyes, black hair, and large spoon-shaped ears. It has 5-fingered hands with flat nails, with a middle finger up to 3 times the length of the others.


One of the most intriguing stars in the universe is right here on Earth: the eleven pairs of pink fleshy appendages ringing the snout of the star-nosed mole (Condylura cristata). he star is an extraordinary touch organ with more than 25,000 minute sensory receptors, called Eimer's organs, with which this hamster-sized mole feels its way around.


The frilled lizard (Chlamydosaurus kingi) is a yellowish-brown australian lizard has got a large frill of skin to the sides of the neck and throat. It is about 90 cm/35 in long, and when is angry or alarmed, it erects its frill, which may be as much as 25cm/10 in in diameter, thus giving itself the appearance of being larger than it really is. Frilled lizards are generally tree-living but may spend some time on the ground, where they run with their forelimbs in the air.


The Giant leaf-tailed gecko (Uroplatus fimbriatus) is endemic to Madagascar and the islands Nosy Bohara and Nosy Mangabe. These geckos live in tropical rain forests and reach a total length of 330 mm. A large nocturnal gecko, by day it plasters it self to a small tree trunk and rests head down. If disturbed it will raise it tail and head, open its mouth and scream... and call his mom.


Another of the species found in one of the world's last scientifically unexplored regions, Asia's Greater Mekong, the Kerivoula Kachinensis is one of the most disturbing bats ever found.


The Naked Mole Rat has little hair (hence the common name) and wrinkled pink or yellowish skin. The naked mole rat is also of interest because it is extraordinarily long-lived for a rodent of its size (up to 28 years). The secret of their longevity is debated, but is thought to be related to the fact that they can shut down their metabolism during hard times, and so prevent oxidative damage.


The inch-long P** Caterpillar is generously coated in long, luxuriant hair-like setae, making it resemble a tiny Persian cat. The 'fur' of the larva contains venomous spines that cause extremely painful reactions in human skin upon contact. The reactions are sometimes localized to the affected area but are often very severe, radiating up a limb and causing burning, swelling, nausea, headache, abdominal distress, rashes, blisters, and sometimes chest pain, numbness, or difficulty breathing (Eagleman 2008). Additionally, it is not unusual to find sweating from the welts or hives at the site of the sting. M. opercularis can be found on oaks, elms, citrus and other trees, and many garden plants such as roses and ivy. It is distributed throughout the southern United States, Mexico, and parts of Central America. The larva does not spin a real cocoon, rather, it separates from its furry skin and uses it as a protective covering while it pupates.

This is Zygzag aka Fishmouth. The last 2 photos show him after he removed the plates and attempted to sew his face back together. They not only effected the function of his mouth but his eyesight as well.

LMAO THIS LITTLE GYAL WEH NAME POOCHI FROM PEMBROKE HALL LOV ra** WAR

-- Edited by GLAMAROUS_RUE on Tuesday 26th of May 2009 03:29:29 PM

THE WEDDING TEST

I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend

And I had been dating for over a year, and so we

Decided to get married. There was only one

Little thing bothering me...It was her beautiful

Younger sister.


My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very

Tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. She

Would regularly bend down when she was near

Me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to

Be deliberate. Because she never did it when she was

Near anyone else.


One day her 'little' sister called and asked me to

Come over to check the wedding invitations. She was

Alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she

Had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't

Overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once

Before I got married and committed my life to her sister.

Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word.

She said, 'I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if

You want one last wild fling, just come up and get me.'


I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go

Up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned

And made a beeline straight to the front door. I

Opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.

Lord... And behold, my entire future family was standing

Outside, all clapping!


With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and

Said, 'We are very happy that you have passed our

Little test. We couldn't ask for a better

Man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.'

And the moral of this story is: 


Always keep your condoms in your car.  
 

This is crime story! 5 Friends lived in 1 room: MAD, BRAIN, FOOL,NOBODY & SOMEBODY.
 
One day SOMEBODY killed NOBODY. AT thAt time BRAIN was in the BATHROOM. MAD called the Police.
MAD:'is it the police station?'
Police: 'yes, what is the matter?'
MAD: 'SOMEBODY killed NOBODY'
Police:'are you MAD?'
MAD: 'yes i'm MAD'
Police: 'do u have a BRAIN?'
MAD: BRAIN is in the Bathroom....'
Police: 'you FOOL!!!!'
MAD: 'No sir....FOOL is reading this joke.....'lol  

Once upon a time in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.

The frog hopped into the princess' lap and said: Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper young prince that I am, and then, my sweet, we can marry and set up housekeeping in your castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and feel forever grateful doing so.

That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on a repast of lightly sautïed frogs legs seasoned in a wine and onion cream sauce she chuckled to herself and thought: I don't f**king think so.

this was taken from the journals of a moderator for a site off a forum...some ppl too wicked still

"Bieng a Moderator for a site was a tough reponsibilty, i had to make sure everything was in order and report to the adminstrator
i would preside over panel discussion and ensure that the forum stays active

to be a moderator, You wud have to give your all. Personally i never had a life, no children and i was outta place in society, i felt lonely, i needed to control ppl, i was born to be a leader.sometimes i would ban other members for no reason at all. because they would say something that i find personally offensive to me: in terms of my race and culture(it felt good to hit the ban button). internet made me feel like a worthy individual. i was getting ladies all over the world. here in the United States, caribbean, england, rome,spain and all the way to austraila.i was a ladies man.but in reality i wasnt a favorite for the girls

i feel a deep sense of courage ever since i became a moderator, once u talk back to me. the ban button wud hit.im a man, and i need attention.whoever came with the whole concept of the internet? i would personally like to thank You. 

"You made me feel important. knowing i can control ppl at my fingertips"

FW: You are never going to believe this one but it is TRUE

This is a true story. This woman went out to a local computer store to buy a computer that her family wanted her to get so she can e-mail them. The sales person told her that they would deliver the computer, set it up and give her some pointers on using it, if she had any problems later all she had to do was call their "Technical Support" they would talk her through it over the phone or come back to her house to find the problem. The sales person asked her if she wanted to purchase 2 years in house warranty, the woman said yes.

A few months went by, she was getting good sending and receiving mail and checking the other web sites with only one call to tech support until one day. She called tech support.

SUPPORT: Hello, technical support how can I help you

LADY: Last night my computer started making a lot of hissing noise at me so I shut it down, this morning when I turned it on the computer started hissing and cracking, then started smoking and a bad smell, then nothing.

SUPPORT: I will have a technician come over first thing this morning, just leave the computer just like it is so they can find the problem and fix it or change it with another computer. Give me your address and phone number and the technician will be there just as soon as they can, in the morning.

When the technician got there, the lady showed the technician where the computer was, said what happen to it, this is what the technician found wrong.

Take a look at the pictures... you won't believe your eyes!!!

-- Edited by massive vybe on Tuesday 26th of May 2009 07:32:38 AM

there u go...

Most of us have seen the Mastercard ads by now. They have been using this marketing ploy for a while now and we have all either grown to love them or hate these advertisments.













-- Edited by PrincessLeah on Monday 25th of May 2009 01:12:54 AM

David Copperfield is doing his magic show and asks if anyone would like to
show him a trick.
"I will", replies a guy in the audience, "but I'm going to need your wife Claudia and a table."
"Ok", says David and the guy gets on stage.
He then bends Claudia over the table, pulls down her knickers and starts
f**king her from behind. David is now very pissed off and says,
"That isn't a trick!!!"
The guy just looks at David Copperfield and replies,
"I know, it's f**king magic."

Vag

A guy took his blonde girlfriend on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment: the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. They spend a fortune.

The first day they go fishing, but they dont catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, the guy catches a fish.

As theyre driving home theyre really depressed. The guy turns to his girlfriend ans says, "Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred dollars?"

The girlfriend says, "Wow! Its a good thing we didnt catch any more!"

One day, a wife goes up to her husband and asks for twenty dollars to buy meat.
"Are you crazy?" says the husband, who pulls her over to a mirror. "Let me show you something? This twenty-dollar bill is mine. The one in the mirror is yours. Get it?" The wife nods. The next day, the husband returns home to find a freezer full of meat. Angry, he asks his wife about it. She pulls him over to the mirror and lifts up her skirt.
"See the one in the mirror? That's yours. This one is the butcher's."

This is an actual job application that a 17 year old boy submitted to McDonald's in Florida... and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!

NAME: Greg Bulmash.

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It *u*ked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE: Aries.

A blonde tried to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems because the car had 250,000 miles on it. One day, she told her problem to a brunette she worked with at a salon. The brunette told her, "There is a way to make the car easier to sell, but it's not legal."

"That doesn't matter," replied the blonde, "if I only can sell the car." "Okay," said the brunette. "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you, and he will turn the odometer on your car back to 50,000 miles. Then it should not be a problem to sell your car anymore."

The following weekend, the blonde made the trip to the mechanic. About one month after that, the brunette asked the blonde, "So...did you sell your car?"

"No," replied the blonde, "why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it!"

Picture of Blondes and Brunettes with one distinct difference between them. What is it?

-- Edited by Dj Quiva on Thursday 21st of May 2009 06:55:02 PM

-- Edited by Dj Quiva on Thursday 21st of May 2009 06:57:30 PM

This elderly lady went to the doctor for a check-up. Everything checked out fine. The old lady pulled the doctor to the side and said, "Doctor, I haven't had sex for years now and I was wondering how I can increase my husband's sex drive." The doctor smiled and said, "Have you tried to give him Viagra?" The lady frowned. "Doctor, I can't even get him to take aspirin when he has a headache," she claimed. "Well," the doctor continued, "Let me suggest something. Crush the Viagra into a powder. When you are giving him coffee, stir it into the coffee and serve it. He won't notice a thing." The old lady was delighted. She left the doctor's office quickly. Weeks later the old lady returned. She was frowning and the doctor asked her what was wrong. She shook her head. "How did it go?" the doctor asked. "Terrible, doctor, terrible." "Did it not work?" "Yes," the old lady said, "It worked. I did as you said and he got up and ripped his clothes off right then and there and we made mad love on the table. It was the best sex that I'd had in 25 years." "Then what is the problem, ma'am?" "Well," she said. "I can't ever show my face in McDonald's again."

Hehe got a giggle out of this :)

Not sure where a door like this would be appropriate?









-- Edited by PrincessLeah on Sunday 24th of May 2009 10:32:05 PM