-- Edited by PrincessLeah on Monday 1st of June 2009 01:20:02 AM

For those that don't know what KY is..... it's LUBRICATION for SEX!!! Yah know, when she gets dry and it hurts!!!!

Do you get it now??? lol



-- Edited by PrincessLeah on Monday 1st of June 2009 01:03:22 AM

-- Edited by PrincessLeah on Monday 1st of June 2009 01:04:11 AM

-- Edited by PrincessLeah on Monday 1st of June 2009 12:19:21 AM

You'll need the following: a cup of water, a cup of sugar, four large eggs, two cups of dried fruit, a teaspoon of baking soda, a teaspoon of salt, a cup of brown sugar, lemon juice, nuts, and a bottle of Appleton Rum.

Sample the rum to check for quality.

Take a large bowl. Check the rum again. To be sure it is the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar and beat again.

Make sure the rum is still okay. Cry another tup. Turn off the mixer. Break two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the rum to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who cares? Check the rum. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find.

Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window, check the rum again and enjoy!

One night, after the couple had retired for the night, the woman
became aware that her husband was touching her in a most unusual
manner.

He started by running his hand across her shoulders and the small of her
back. He ran his hand over her breasts, touching them very lightly. Then,
he proceeded to run his hand gently down her side, sliding his hand
over her stomach, and then down the other side to a point below her waist.

He continued on, gently feeling her hips, first one side and then the other.
His hand ran further down the outside of her thighs. His gentle probing then
started up the inside of her left thigh, stopped and the returned to do the same to her right thigh.

By this time the women was becoming aroused and she squirmed a little to better position herself.

The man stopped abruptly and rolled over to his side of the bed.

"Why are you stopping darling?" she whispered.

He whispered back, "I found the remote!"

If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby.

If you give her a house, she'll give you a home.

If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal.

If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart.

A woman multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.


Why is this important for every man to know?

Because if you give her any crap, you need be ready to receive a ton of shit in return!

A man and his son walk into an ice cream parlor. The man orders a vanilla cone, looks at his son, slaps him on the back of the head and asks, "What do you want, Fathead?" The guy at the counter is appalled. He questions the man on his actions, to which the man replies, "There are three things a man wants in life: 1. A nice car. You see that car out there? Nicest damn car in town; 2. A nice house. I got the nicest house in the parish; and 3) A tight woman. Had me one of those too, until Fathead here came along!"

1. It's important to have a woman, who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job. 2. It's important to have a woman, who can make you laugh. 3. It's important to have a woman, who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you. 4. It's important to have a woman, who is good in bed and who likes to be with you. 5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other.

After an exciting hot, nice and rejuvenating 69 with his girlfriend, Brian remembers that he has an appointment with his dentist that evening.

He was afraid that his dentist would notice the smell of pum pum in his mouth, so he brushed his teeth 7 times, used dental floss 8 times and on top of that he used 2 litres of Listerine.

As he arrived at his dentist office, he *u*ked 5 mint candies. His turn then came up, so he was welcomed in by his dentist, who told Brian to have a seat on the chair.

Feeling confident & well relaxed he opened his mouth wide.

The dentist got close enough to his mouth and said,'Man, why yuh do 69 before yuh come to mi office?'

'What's up Doc? Does my mouth smell like pum pum?'

'No, yuh mouth smell good, but yuh forehead smell like

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