TONY MATTERON OR TWIN OF TWINS WHO U THINK GONNA WIN DI WARRRRR

 

 

 

 

 

This vehicle canna cross it, unless we get out and lift it over.

-- Edited by KrYsIs (Radio Mod) on Thursday 9th of September 2010 10:15:09 AM

http://youtu.be/JeFoS40l4wc

TURN YOUR WOMAN BACK WAY AND PUT HER HAND ON THE GROUND AND LET HER KNEEL DOWN LIKE SNOOP DOGGY STYLE. JUST LIKE THIS 

 

HERE IS THE TRICKY PART 

 

GELTLY PUT YOU HAND AROUND HER HIPS WHILE HAVEING SEX 

AND GELTLY WISPER ANOTHER WOMAN'S NAME IN HER EARS AND TRY TO 

STAY ON HER FOR 8 SECONDS

 

-- Edited by Vj Double A (Snr.Mod) on Sunday 3rd of July 2011 06:13:42 PM

-- Edited by silence989 on Saturday 18th of June 2011 10:16:28 AM

 ah tell yuh bout noobs  

Three pastors were discussing, one said his problem is stealing, he can not stop stealing from the church's money and if his church members find out, it would be disastrous. The second pastor said his own problem is adultery, he had slept with almost every woman in the church both married and unmarried. His church members must not find out. The third pastor said his problem is that he can not do without gossiping, and everybody must know what he just found out. He then excused himself and immediately the other two pastors fainted.

-- Edited by K3nny on Thursday 19th of May 2011 11:25:50 PM

Bob Marley was a hero figure, in the classic mythological sense. His departure from this planet came at a point when his vision of One World, One Love -- inspired by his belief in Rastafari.

Had Bob Marley been alive, he would probably have realised how legendary he is when it comes to the reggae music genre he popularised during his illustrious career.

Marley succumbed to cancer on May 11 1981. Since then his life has been celebrated throughout the world. While this might now be history, its amazing to note how he remains etched in the minds of reggae lovers.

SEE THE PHOTOS: http://thehypelifemag.com/2011/05/12/bob-marley-nesta-robert-marley-35-awesome-never-before-seen-pictures/#ixzz1Meaba1nZ

 http://www.worldstarhiphop.com/videos/video.php?v=wshh2t6KwcphAW3uUsd9 

-- Edited by camman on Tuesday 17th of May 2011 12:39:09 PM

-- Edited by BoaseyT0niiB0nii (Mod) on Friday 13th of May 2011 08:50:30 PM

Kartel

 

The Jamaican maid asked for a pay increase.
The wife was upset about this and decided to talk to her about the raise.
She asked: Now Marie, why you feel you deserve a pay increase?
Marie: Well, ma'am, three reasons why I want de increase.

The first one, mi iron better than you!
Wife: Who said you iron better than me?
Marie: Your husband says so.
Wife: Oh.

Marie: The second reason........ah cooks better than you.
Wife: Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?
Marie: Your husband again
Wife: Oh.

Marie: My last reason is that I am a better lover than you.
Wife: (really furious now): My husband says that as well??
Marie: No ma'am, the Gardener.

Wife: How much yuh seh you want again?

 

 

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=137146609631228&set=a.102139206465302.4731.100000076697762&theater

 

THATS WHERE I SAW THE PIC SO NO MAN NUH SEH MI GOOGLE NTN

-- Edited by KrYsIs (Movie & Radio Mod) on Friday 25th of March 2011 01:17:15 PM

The Penis requests a promotion and a raise for the following reasons:

Has to work hard
Has to work at great depths
Has to work upside down
Has no ventilation or air conditioned environment at work
Has to work in a high humidity environment
Has to work at high temperatures
Does not get weekends and holidays off
Does not get time off after extra hours of work
Has a hazardous work environment that often causes professional sickness

Request denied for the following reasons:

Does not work 8 hours in a row
Does not answer immediately to all requests
After a short activity period, falls asleep at work
Shows no fidelity to the workplace
Retires too early
Does not work at all unless pushed from behind
Does not leave the workplace clean after finishing work
Sometimes leaves work, too early.

1. Fake carsickness.
2. Lean back in your seat on the person behind you.
3. Ask. Are we there yet? Every 5 Minutes.
4. Have arguments with someone in the car.
5. Stick your head out the window like a dog.
6. Sing with the radio loudly even if you dont know the words.
7. Actually get carsick.
8. Play with every gadget you find in the car.
9. Have belching contests.
10. Accelerate and brake every 4 seconds.
11. Count to 10 before going at a stop sign.
12. Run a yellow light but change your mind while you still can.
13. Drive down the left turn lane.
14. Slow down when you see a sign that says, bridge may be icy, especially in the dead of summer.
15. Stop at railroad crossings.
16. Drive with your feet.
17. Hit the gas and the brake at the same time.
18. Drive 46 mph on the expressway.
19. In the fast lane.
20. See how far across the seats you can spit breath mints before you get yelled at.
21. Drive with a Slurpee in one hand a cigarette in the other while trying to balance 5 McDonald meals on your left leg.
22. Go from 60 to 0 every thirty seconds, just to see if you can cause a 5-car (or more) pileup.
23. Never use your blinkers.
24. On a 2-lane road, form a roadblock as you drive parallel to a semi going 20.
25. While on the expressway, grab the shifter and ask, What does the R stand for?
26. And for EXTRA fun, try it!
27. Gargle mouthwash while driving.
28. Cross over the median on a 4-lane expressway, just to get over to the right exit.
29. Try to eat the steering wheel.
30. Burn everyone with the cigarette lighter in the car.
31. Open and close the glove box continually until someone hits you.
32. Every time you pass a car, yell Hi!
33. Count the number of purple Corvettes you see in your driving adventures.
34. Honk your horn for fun.
35. Play music with your horn, or rig it to play a tune.
36. Sit in the drivers seat, but insist some else drives.
37. Talk on the phone.
38. Dial the number of the passengers cellular phone.
39. Stop on an entrance ramp of the expressway.
40. Shift into park.
41. Leave the emergency flashers on and leave the car.
42. Use the windshield wipers just so you can rock with the rhythm.
43. And always, ALWAYS, drive with your eyes closed. (And clasp your hands over your ears singing, lalalaI cant hear you~
44. Slow down on acceleration ramps and speed up on deceleration ones.
45. Lose your book the day before a test.
46. Forget what the word velocitation means.
47. Drive up the road with half of your muffler hanging off.
48. As a pedestrian, ALWAYS run across highways and expressways.
49. Stomp on the pedals just to hear the different sounds they make.
50. Combine these sounds with various beeps, clicks, and snaps from other parts of the car and you could be a one-man (or woman) orchestra.
51. New game: Put the car in Drive and leave the car. You and your passenger must pick a spot, and whichever the car rolls closest to wins. The loser must chase the car.
52. Drive on runways in airports.
53. Constantly play with your mirrors; see if you can get your rear-view mirror to turn 360 degrees.
54. Cross double-yellow lines.
55. NEVER EVER turn right on red.
56. Honk your horn at geese and see if they honk back.
57. Turn left from the right turn lane.
58. Turn right from the left turn lane.
59. When entering a store, put your hazard lights on just so you can park in front of the store.
60. Play Muzak so loud that the cars next to you vibrate.
61. When stopped at a red light, pretend to answer your cell phone and then hand it to the person in the car next to you and say, Its for you.
62. See how many street-hockey nets you can demolish in an hour.
63. Back into an angular parking spot.
64. Try to put CDs in your cars tape player.
65. Hit pedestrians as you try to parallel park.
66. In a residential area, pretend you are a race-car driver and gun it.
67. When people honk at you, cut them off.
68. If they try to cut YOU off, pull in front of them and come to a complete stop.
69. Throw your coffee out the window during rush hour.
70. Spit cherry pits out your window.
71. Lock your keys inside your car.
72. While it is running.
73. Drive before you start Drivers Training.
74. Have sulfuric acid sprayed in your eyes while trying to jump-start your car.
75. If a backseat driver is in the car, yank off the steering wheel and say, HERE. YOU DRIVE.

-- Edited by KrYsIs (Movie & Radio Mod) on Monday 28th of March 2011 10:33:55 PM

1. Men are not mind readers.

 

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

 

1. Sunday sports are like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

 

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

 

1. Crying is blackmail.

 

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:

Subtle hints do not work!

Strong hints do not work!

Obvious hints do not work!

Just say it!

 

1. Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

 

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

 

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

 

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

 

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

 

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

 

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

 

1. You can either ask us to do something, or you can tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

 

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

 

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions, and neither do we.

 

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

 

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

 

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it's just not worth the hassle.

 

1. If you ask a question you don't want the answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

 

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

 

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

 

1. You have enough clothes.

 

1. You have too many shoes.

 

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

Keywords and their meanings (A must-read for any man - written by a woman.)

Fine: This is the word we use at the end of any argument that we feel we are right about but need to shut you up. Never use fine to describe how woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.

Five minutes: This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.

Nothing: This means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine".

Go Ahead (with raised eyebrows): This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine".

Go Ahead (normal eyebrows): This means, "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care". You will get a raised eyebrow "Go ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

Loud Sigh: This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement very misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".

Soft Sigh: Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" are one of the few things that some men actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay content.

Oh: This word followed by any statement is trouble. Example; "Oh, let me get that". Or, "Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last night." If she says "Oh" before a statement, RUN, do not walk, to the nearest exit. She will tell you that she is "Fine" when she is done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least 2 days. "Oh" as the lead to a sentence usually signifies that you are caught in a lie. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you will get raised eyebrows "Go ahead" followed by acts so inspeakable that we can't bring ourselves to write about them.

That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. "That's Okay," means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you retributions for what ever it is that you have done.
"That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow "Go ahead". At some point in the near future when she has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

Please Do: This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay".

Thanks: A woman is thanking you. Do not faint; just say you're welcome.

Thanks a lot: This is much different from "Thanks". A woman will say, "Thanks a lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh". Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh", as she will only tell you "Nothing".

I hope this clears up any misunderstandings... 

-- Edited by _theoriginalwhitey_ on Saturday 23rd of April 2011 11:33:43 PM

-- Edited by -twystiid- on Saturday 16th of April 2011 07:40:42 PM