Do's and Dont's of Carnival 1.. DO NOT....Attempt to "throw waist" on ah young girl wit' ah 6' 6" ignorant boyfren'...funeral home close up for de season.! 2.. DO NOT....Drink an' drive... alcohol is ah expensive t'ing, plus yuh could spill it on yuh nice clothes. 3.. DO NOT....Feel dat de red-woman who smile an' jump wit' you in de ban' Tuesday, go even want tuh SMELL yuh on Ash Wednesday...ask she husband! 4.. DO NOT....Stan' up in front of dem speakers tuh "get de vibes".. is not ah walkman an' I eh shoutin' at nobody after Carnival.! 5.. DO NOT....Buy corn soup from ah Rastaman name "Dutty". 6.. DO NOT....Go to ah fete wit' shoes dat have strap... unless yuh like walkin' barefoot(dis is not ah formal occasion..use yuh sense l'il bit, nah..!) 7.. DO NOT....Wear white on J'ouvert morning. 8.. DO NOT....Feel you is de bes' swimmer in Maracas Bay... we eh have time tuh look for yuh till after Ash Wednesday! (AHEM!) 9.. DO NOT....Argue wit' ah drunk coconut vendor because "it eh have no jelly"... de man obviously know how tuh use ah cutlass! (yuh could spell 'chop' an' planass'??) 10.. DO NOT....Wear ah size "Small" costume, if yuh nickname is "T'ick T'ing".

A POLISH woman who was DRUNK during labour has given birth to a baby girl who was almost 15 TIMES over the adult drink-driving limit. The baby was born on Monday with a *lo** alcohol level of 0.29 per cent. The drink driving limit in Poland is 0.02 per cent.Docs at the hospital in Otwock, near Warsaw, called the cops after the drunken mother-to-be checked in to give birth. The 38-year-olds *lo** alcohol level was 0.12 per cent the equivalent of drinking a bottle of wine. She could face up to five years behind bars on charges of endangering the life and health of her child. The tot is not in immediate danger, but docs say her development may be impaired by the alcohol.

Mabel, the church gossip and self-appointed supervisor of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business. Several residents were unappreciative of her activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence. She made a mistake, however, when she accused George, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his pickup truck parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon. She commented to George and others that everyone seeing it there would know that he was an alcoholic. George, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just walked away. He said nothing. Later that evening, George quietly parked his pickup in front of Mabel's house and left it there all night.:)))

A guy dials his home and a strange woman answers.
The guy says, Who is this?

This is the maid, answers the woman.

We dont have a maid, says the man.

The woman says, I was hired this morning by the lady of the house.

The man says, Well, this is her husband. Is she there?

The woman replies, She is upstairs in the bed room with someone who I figured was her husband.

The guy is fuming and says to the maid, Listen, would you like to make $50,000?

The maid says, What will I have to do?

The man tells her, I want you to get my gun from the desk, and shoot the witch and the jerk shes with.

The maid puts the phone down; the man hears footsteps and then two gun shots.

The maid comes back to the phone, What do I do with the bodies?

The man says, Throw them in the swimming pool.

Puzzled, the maid answers, But you dont have a pool.

A long pause and the man says, Is this 567-5309? no

Complete Idiot's Guide To Amazing Sex (NO PORNO)

You're no idiot, of course! You know theres more to sex than the missionary position, that oral sex doesnt mean talking about sex, and that safe sex doesnt mean doing it in a bank vault. But when it comes to having a truly amazing sexual encounter, you feel like theres just no sizzle in your sex life. You can make things hot! The Complete Idiots Guide to Amazing Sex has fresh advice on how to make smart sexual choices, cast aside your inhibitions, and keep your sex life exciting well into your golden years. In this Complete Idiots guide, Sari Locker gives you.
please make a note on password-movieswarz.com. this is very interesting u can learn from this.

http://rapidshare.com/files/117871353/CIGAS.rar

 

CAIRO, Egypt (AP) - Six people drowned yesterday while trying to rescue a chicken that had fallen into a well in southern Egypt. An 18-year-old farmer was the first to descend into the 60-foot well. He drowned, apparently after an undercurrent in the water pulled him down, police said.

His sister and two brothers, none of whom could swim well, went in one by one to help him, but also drowned. Tw
o elderly farmers then came to help, but they apparently were pulled down by the same undercurrent. The bodies of the six were later pulled out of the well in the village of Nazlat Imara, 240 miles south of Cairo. The chicken was also pulled out. It survived.

1. When I was born, I got a choice - A big **** or a good memory. I can't remember what I chose. 2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory. 3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects. 4. Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings...' 5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together. 6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to best thing on earth. 7. There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly. 8. Virginity can be cured. 9. Virginity is not dignity, it's lack of opportunity. 10. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand. 11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small. 12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy. 13. Q: What's an Australian kiss? A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under. 14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing....... 15. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a man's life? A: Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn't. 16. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? A: Breasts don't have eyes. 17. Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your troubles to bed ', many men still sleep with their wives!!!

The National Poetry Contest had come down to two, a Yale graduate and a Jamaican Rastaman.
They were given a word, and then allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a poem that contained it.
The word they were given was " Timbuktu ".
First to recite his poem was the Yale graduate.
He stepped up to the microphone and said:
"Slowly across the desert sand,trekked a lonely caravan;
Men on camels two by two,
Destination - Timbuktu. "
The crowd went crazy!
No way could the Rastaman top that, they thought.
The Rastaman calmly made his way to the microphone
and recited:
"Me and Tim a huntin' went.
Met three whores in a pop up tent.
They was three, and we was two,
so I bucked one, and Timbuktu ."
The Rastaman won!

[youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=XG2D7D77AXg]

-- Edited by Masta StReTcH at 08:46, 2008-06-07

1.Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the many calls asking where the "Any" key is.

2.AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.

3.Another Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining that the system wouldn't read word processing files from his old diskettes. After trouble-shooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer labeled the diskettes by rolling them into a typewriter to type on them.

4. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of trouble-shooting, the technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.

5.Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing them individually.

6.Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand-new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in, and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked "What power switch?

The inmate on death row was scheduled to be put to death by firing squad the follow morning. Throughout the day, the prison guards were being very nice to him. But when they asked him if he wanted something specific for his last meal, he said he didn't want anything special. When they asked if there was something special he wanted to do, he said nothing. It went on like this all day.

Finally, when he was put before the firing squad, the guard asked if he wanted a cigarette and a blindfold.

"No," the inmate said, "just get it over with."

"Well, is there anything that I can do for you before you go?" said the guard. "You didn't even want a special last meal!"

The inmate thought. "Actually," he said, "Music is my life. One thing I would really like would be to sing my favorite song, one whole time through, with no interruptions."

The guard nodded and told him to go ahead.

The inmate started, "One billion bottles of beer on the wall..."

Joe a nervous young man, was invited to dinner with his girlfriends parents.....a stern Yorkshire farmer and his wife..... Half way through the meal, as they were discussing his intentions towards their daughter, Joe feels an enormous fart coming on, He was unable to control it and the rasp could be heard all over the house..."Get out, Shep!!" said the farmer to the sheepdog, who was lying under the table. "Thank God" thought Joe "He thought is was the dog". About 10mins later...Joe could feel another buildup of gas, again he could not muffle it and an even louder fart ripped from his arse... "Get out, Shep" shouted the farmer at the dog who had crept back under the table. Again after 5 more minutes... He felt an even bigger build up, this time Joe let go a real monster fart, which made the table shake, the farmer kicked the dog who was back under the table and shouted " For Gods sake Shep, get out from under there before the bastard ****s on you"

I recall my first time with a condom, I was 16 or so. I went in to buy a packet of condoms at the pharmacy. There was this beautiful woman assistant behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it. She handed me the package and asked, if I knew how to wear one. I honestly answered, 'No. this is my first time' So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure. I apparently still looked confused. So she looked all around the store to see if it was empty. It was empty. 'Just a minute,' she said, and walked to the door, and locked it. Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside. 'Do these excite you?' she asked. Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was nod my head. She then said, it was time to slip the condom on. As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her panties and lay down on a desk. 'Well, come on', she said, 'We don't have much time.' So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful, that unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and KAPOW, I was done within a few minutes. She looked at me with a bit of a frown. 'Did you put that condom on?' she asked. I said, 'I sure did,' and held up my thumb to show her. She fainted

THE LAST MAN IS THE BEST

-- Edited by So_InTriCat3 at 19:29, 2008-06-09

A 90-year-old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better. I have an 18-year old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?"

The doctor considered his question for a minute and then said, "I have an elderly friend who is a hunter and never misses a season. One day when he was going out in a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his umbrella instead of his gun. When he got to the Creek, he saw a rabbit sitting beside the stream. He raised his umbrella and went, 'bang, bang' and the rabbit fell dead. What do you think of that?"

The 90-year-old said, "I'd say somebody else killed that rabbit."

The doctor replied, "My point exactly."

Dear Son,

I'm writing this slow 'cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within twenty miles of home, so we moved. Won't be able to send you the address as the last Arkansas family that lived here took the numbers with them for their house, so they wouldn't have to change their address.

This place has a washing machine. The first day I put four shirts in it, pulled the chain and haven't seen 'em since. It only rained twice this week, three days the first time and four days the second time. The coat you wanted me to send to you, Aunt Sue said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with them heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.

We got a bill from the funeral home, and it said if we didn't make the final payment on Grandma's funeral bill, up she comes. About your sister, she had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether if it is a boy or girls so dont know if you are an Aunt or Uncle.

Your Uncle John fell in the whiskey vat. Some men tried to get him out, but he fought them off playfully, so he drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.

Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pickup. One was driving and the other two were in the back. The driver got out. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. The other 2 drowned. They couldn't get the tailgate down.

Not much more news this time. Nothing much happened. If you don't get this letter, please let me know and I will send another one.

Love, Ma

An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted.
She told the artist....

....."Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and gold Rolex. "

"But you are not wearing any of those things."

"I know," she said. "It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry.

25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER FOR MY EDUCATION

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.'

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
'You better pray that will come out of the carpet.'

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL .
'If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!'

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
' Because I said so, that's why.'

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me.'

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
'Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.'

7. My mother taught me IRONY
'Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about.'

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
'Shut your mouth and eat your supper.'

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
'Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!'

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
'You're gonna sit there until all that spinach is gone.'

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
'This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.'

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
'If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!'

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
'I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.'

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
'Stop acting like your father!'

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
'There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do.'

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
'Just wait until we get home.'

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
'You are going to get it when you get home!'

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
'If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.'

19. My mother taught me ESP.
'Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?'

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
'When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me.'

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
'If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.'

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
'You're just like your father.'

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
'Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?'

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
'When you get to be my age, you'll understand.'

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE
'One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you.

Dirty Little Matt is sitting in the back of math class, obviously not paying any attention, when the teacher calls his name.

"Yeah teach?" he replies.

"If there are three ducks on a fence and you shoot one of them with a shotgun, how many are left?" asks the teacher.

Matt answers "Well, teach, if I shoot one of them with a shotgun, the loud noise is gonna make them all fly off."

"No, Matt, there will be two left if you shoot one with a shotgun, but I like the way you're thinking." the teacher responds.

"Well, teach, I've got a question for you... There are 3 women that come out of an ice-cream parlor, one is biting her ice-cream cone, one is licking it, and one is sucking on it. Which one is married?"

The teacher, a little taken back by the question answers, "Well, uh, gee Matt, I guess the one that's sucking on the ice cream."

Matt replies "No teach, the one that has the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking!"

Raffle

The blonde was visiting a friend in hospital when she was approached by a
member of the medical staff. "Will you buy a raffle ticket?" asked the
nursing sister

"What's the raffle for?" asked the blonde

"One of our wardsmen died last week - it's for his poor widow and three
children."

"No, thanks," replied the blonde, "I won't have a ticket. What would I do
with a widow and three children? I'm already supporting my defacto and his
two kids."

Classic Eddie

http://www.zshare.net/download/1306566619a4b6ef/

http://www.zshare.net/video/13484102ba9526bf/

http://www.zshare.net/video/1348541266416f61/

Billy drove his brand new Mercedes to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in. Betty, a pretty blonde saleswoman who always served him, greeted him and asked if she could help. Billy said thank you and told her that he would just like to look around on his own today.

Five minutes later, Betty came running up to him yelling, "Billy! Billy! I just saw someone driving off with your new Mercedes!"

"Dear God! Did you try to stop him?," Billy said.

"No," she said, "I did better than that! I got the license plate number!"

http://youtube.com/watch?v=h3gdSHGcUU4

If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation? If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose? If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from? After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water? If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in? Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections? Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the Special Olympics? When a man talks dirty to a woman, its sexual hara**ment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 per minute. If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them? Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it? Since light travels faster than sound, is that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak? How come abbreviated is such a long word? If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be? Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead? Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers? Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts? Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together? Why is a carrot more orange than an orange? When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss? It sounds like a near hit to me!! Why are there 5 syllables in the word 'monosyllabic'? Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors? If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not a door? Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it. How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him? If 'con' is the opposite of 'pro,' then what is the opposite of progress? Why is it lemon juice contains mostly artificial ingredients, but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons? Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them? Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious? If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes? Do married people live longer than single people, or does it just SEEM longer? I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working? Isn't the best way to save face to keep the lower part shut? War doesn't determine who's right, just who's left.

     http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDNm-8CujRE&NR=1

Yow just pree this its no gay thing it sick

---

Woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone."



"No more headaches?" the husband asks,

"What happened?"

His wife replies, "Margie referred me to a hypnotist.



He told me to stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat

'I do not have a headache;

I do not have a headache,

I do not have a headache.'



It worked! The headaches are all gone."



Well, that is wonderful."



His wife then says, "You know, you haven't been exactly a ball of fire in the bedroom these last few years.



Why don't you go see the hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?"



The husband agrees to try it.
 
Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom.
 

He puts her on the bed and says, "Don't move, I'll be right back."
 
He goes into the bathroom and comes back a few minutes later and jumps into bed and makes passionate love to his wife like never before.
 
His wife says, "Boy, that was wonderful!"
 
The husband says, "Don't move! I will be right back."
 
He goes back into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even better than the first time.



The wife sits up and her head is spinning.
 
Her husband again says, "Don't move, I'll be right back."
 
With that, he goes back in the bathroom.
 
This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the bathroom, she sees him standing at the mirror and saying,



"She's not my wife.
 
She's not my wife.
 
She's not my wife!"

Two men

met while both where looking for their lost wives.

1st: How yours look like?

2nd: She is 5"7, 36-24-36, Fair, Black eyes. What about yours?

1st:

Forget mine.

Lets find yours!!

**********

Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed.

He shoots his friend to death.

Wife says, "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends".

**********


What is the definition of Mistress?

Someone between the Mister and Mattress

**********

Husband asks , "Do u know the meaning of WIFE??

"Without Information Fighting Everytime"

Wife replies," No, It means ,

"With Idiot For Ever!!!"


**********

Three Feelings:

What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?

Stress is when wife is pregnant,

Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and

Panic

is when both are pregnant.

**********

Teacher: u know the importance of period?

Kid: Ya, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got heart attack & our driver ran away.

**********

Women asked man who is traveling with six children, all these kids are urs ???

No, I work in a condom factory & these are

customer complaints.


**********

Sons asks difference between confidence and confidential

Dad says, you are my son, I'm confident. Your friend is also my son, that's confidential!

**********

Mother to her teenage daughter: I think this is the right time we should talk about sex.

Daughter (Excitingly) : Sure mom, tell me what do you want to know.

Mother Faints... --

Jamaican living in the States was down on his luck. Out of work and
broke, he started going around to various companies in the city begging
for a job, any job. Finally he got to the zoo.

he zookeeper looked stressed out."The monkey escaped last night", the
zoo-keeper said, "if you are willing to put on a monkey suit and stand
in the monkey's cage for a couple days, I'll pay you" The Jamaican
immediately accepted.

The pay was OK and the work wasn't hard.He swung from the tree, and the
kids fed him fruits and nuts. He actually started enjoying himself.

He even started adding a few acrobatic moves that he had seen on TV.
Later in the afternoon he swung a bit too vigorously, lost his grip and
flew clean out of the monkey cage and landed in the lion cage next
door.

The lion let out a huge roar and our friend in the monkey suit bawled
out, "LAWD GOD, MI DEAD NOW".

The huge lion immediately pounced on him, grabbed >him by the throat
and whispered, "Man shut yuh raas, if yuh evah >mek mi lose di likkle
wuk yuh si...A bite out u rass"

-- Edited by Garrick at 20:40, 2007-12-14

JUST CLICK ON THE PAGE TO GO FORWARD

http://www.zshare.net/download/5675138ce5aa39/

After a few years of married life, this guy finds that he is unable to perform anymore. He goes to his doctor, and his doctor tries a few things but nothing works. Finally the doctor says to him "this is all in your mind", and refers him to a psychiatrist. After a few visits to the shrink, the shrink confess, " I am at a loss as to how you could possibly be cured." Finally the psychiatrist refers him to witch doctor. The witch doctor tells, "I can cure this", and throws some powder on a flame, and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke ......... The witch doctor says, "This is powerful healing but you can only use it once a year! All you have to do is say '123' and it shall rise for as long as you wish!" The guy then asks the witchdoctor "What happens when it's over?" The witch doctor says, "all you have to say is '1234' and it will go down. But be warned it will not work again for a year!" The guy goes home and that night he is ready to surprise his wife with the good news... So, he is lying in bed with her and says "123", and suddenly he gets an erection. His wife turns over and says, "What did you say '123' for?

The priest in a small Irish village loved his chickens that he kept in the coop behind the church.

One Sunday morning before mass, he went to feed the birds and discovered that the cock was missing.

He knew about the cock fights in the village, so he decided to question his parishioners in church.

During mass, he asked his congregation, 'Has anybody got a cock?' All the men stood up.

'No, no, that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock?' All the women stood up.

'No, no, that wasn't what I meant either. Has anybody seen a cock that doesn't belong to them?' Half the women stood up !

'No, no, no, that wasn't what I meant. What I really really mean is,
has anybody seen MY cock?' Sixteen altar boys, two priests and a goat stood up!

sex is like math...u add the bed...subtract the cloths....divide the legs.....and try not 2 multiple

A Jamaican driving in his brand new BMW Z8 pulls over to take a leak. A truck speeding down the street crashes into his door just as he's about to come out of his car, sending it flying off the hinges. Enraged, he uses his cell phone to call 911. When the police arrive he explains what happened. "Star, di man jus come lick off de door a mi bimmer !! Mi car write off to ra** !!" The police, after surveying the scene shakes his head in amazement and says, "You Jamaicans are so materialistic. You're so into the damage of your car door that you didn't even realize that your hand is still attached to it !! The guy, finally realizing this, looks at his amputated hand and screams out, "*lo** claat !! Mi rolex !!

A family of three tomatoes were walking downtown one day when the little baby tomato started lagging behind. The big father tomato walks back to the baby tomato, stomps on her, squashing her into a red paste, and says, "Ketchup!"

trying to convince ma brother to give mi some of the food (just come home an mi did fra** as unu can hear.)



-- Edited by Crazypickney at 12:15, 2008-06-11

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r6Za4QzRdIA&NR=1

yo can tell sey me fra** too from dem coke head laughing dey.



-- Edited by  at 12:07, 2008-06-11

-- Edited by Crazypickney at 12:12, 2008-06-11

-- Edited by nexx at 23:58, 2008-06-11

Home 'ran'


The Doggy Style


Joker


Touch- Down !!!


Bat Attack


Smell my Victory


Cpt.Hook vs Mr.Penis


Golden goal


11 little Dwarf


Eyes on Me


Split & Feel


Sumo Boxer



Kamasutra