here is the link
<a href='http://www.sendspace.com/file/aw1zqs'>http://www.sendspace.com/file/aw1zqs</a>
a jamaican guy enters a resturant and while sitting at his table he notices a gorgeous woman sitting at another table alone. he calls the waiter over and asks for a bottle of the most expensive champagne to be sent over to her knowing that if she accepts it she will be his.
the waiter gets the bottle and quickly takes it over to the young lady, saying that its from the gentleman. she looks at the champagne and decides to send a note back to the jamaican, the note reads...
"for me to accept this bottle you need to have a mercedes in your garage, a million in the bank and 9 inches in your trousers."
After Reading this note the jamaican sends back a note of his own, it reads...
"jus su yuh know...me av a bran new benz an a bran new bimma park up inna mi yard, an mi av over 10 million inna de bank but nuhbaddy an mi mean NUHBADDY nah gon mek mi cut 3 inch off a wah mi av inna mi pants...suh yuh can jus sen back di champagne!"
for his birthday, little Joseph asked for a 10-speed bicycle. His father said,
>>"Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $280,000 & your
>>mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it." The next day
>>the father saw little Joseph heading out the front door with a suitcase.
>>So he asked, "Son, where are you going?" little Joseph told him; "I was
>>walking past your room last night and heard you telling mom you were
>>pulling out. Then I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too.
>>And I'll be damned if I'm staying here by myself with a $280,000 mortgage
>>& no bike.
TRhis is quite funny
A LADY WAS TRAVELLING ALONG CALEDONIA ROAD IN MANDEVILLE WHEN SHE WAS INVOLVED IN AN ACCIDENT WITH A MAN. THEY BOTH AGREE TO GO TO THE POLICE STATION TO MAKE A REPORT. THEY WENT TO THE MANDEVILLE TRAFFIC OFFICE WHERE THEY SAW CORPORAL ALBERT SIMPSON.
LADY:GOOD MORNING OFFICA
CPL SIMPSON: GOOD MORNING MOM
LADY:I HAVE A ACCIDENT TO REPORT
CPL SIMPSON: GO AHEAD MOM
LADY: OFFICA MI SEH MI A CUM AND WHEN MI REALISE THE MAN A CUM TO SO MI START BLOW THE MAN AND ALL DI BLOW MI A BLOW THE MAN HIM STILL CUM INNA MI.
CPL SIMPSON: LADY IT LOOK LIKE A SEX ARGUMENT YUH A TALK
LADY: NO OFFICA LOOK HOW THE MAN MASH UP THE WHOLE A MI FRONT.
PLEASE CHOOSE YOUR WORDS CAREFULLY...
Mr. Robinson lived in an old age home in Jamaica. he was old and found out that his hood would no longer stand up, knowing this he was saddened by it and was very upset. One day he was walking back and forth in the old age home when one of the nurses spotted him and asked him " Mr. Robinson why the long face , why u look so down"? Mr. Robinson replied " well nurse Im old and now i find out that my hood is dead it nah go get up again" "ohh Mr Robinson dont worry yourself bout dat u will be just fine" so Mr. Robinson went on his way...
The next day Mr. Robinson came down the hall with his hood hanging out the pee hole on his boxers, the same nurse from the day before saw him and ran up to him and said " Mr. Robinson what are u doing? Have u lost your mind? why is your hood hanging out your boxers like that u can not walk around here like that "
Mr. Robinson looked at the nurse and said " well nurse u memba yesterday me told you me hood dead ?
"well today a de viewing "