-- Edited by SLICE BREAD on Saturday 8th of May 2010 04:43:41 PM

IF YOUR vagina could speak to you, what would she say? Have you ever thought what your vagina may be feeling?

Is your vagina angry or happy?

As bizarre as the above questions may sound, now that you have been asked, what is your answer?

However, this question is not just for the women! To all the adult heterosexual men reading this article, is your spouse's vagina angry or happy?

Overcoming An Angry Vagina - A Journey To Womb Wellness is the new book by international best-selling author Queen Afua.

She is aworld-renownedholistichealthspecialistwhopractises from a uniquelyspiritual perspective and has worked with the likes of Stevie Wonder, Erykah Badu and Mel Jackson.

And the 56-year-old's previous book, Sacred Woman: A Guide to Healing the Feminine Body, Mind and Spirit, sold more than a million copies worldwide.

Activist

She's currently on a UK tour sponsored by Fairweather Productions in conjunction with In Celebration With My Sisters.

Speaking exclusively to The Voice, Queen Afua says she wants to help women benefit from her experience and knowledge gained from a wide range of roles including certified colontherapist, polarity practitioner, herbalist, wellness coach and raw-food activist.

"I've birthed this book with the everyday woman in mind" she says "Overcoming an Angry Vagina will, I hope, make you laugh, cry, think and get motivated to make changes in your life. For me, this is a very personal book of love, pain, enlightenment and healing for both men and women. I organised the information so that we could share and find humility in the understanding of who and what we really are - blessed".

Described as a 'self-help guide to womb empowerment, tracing a timeline of womb damage right across the globe', Queen Afua says she believes there is a direct correlation between the condition of wombs and the state of the world.

"Giving birth from diseased wombs and thoughts is what keeps the human family in chaos and discord," says the mother of three and grandmother of two.

Focusing on the womb, "the first cradle for every human infant while the vagina is the womb's pathway and sentinel," Afua believes that women have given birth to those who "create war, steal land, enslave people, suppress women's power and manipulate nature."

"Most people are born from women suffering from toxic, suppressed enraged thoughts. Far too many women have fibroids-filled wombs, cancerous wombs, cystic wombs, mutilated wombs, raped wombs, endometrial wombs, prolapsed wombs, abortive wombs, which are filled with sorrow, sadness, depression and anger, something that I attempt to heal."

Practising what she describes as her "holistic methods" and remedies, successful for more than three decades, Afua (meaning born on a Friday in Yoruba) says regardless of her clients' religious beliefs, economic status, or ethnic background, they were all complaining of the same womb pains and diseases. This led her to search for the root cause of their physical problems.

"I have consistently counselled, guided and taught 25-30 clients weekly for the past 30-plus years, and have conducted various workshops and seminars, which have opened my eyes to see that there is a global urgency to restore womb wellness" she declares.

She acknowledges that the vagina is also known as 'yoni', 'seshet', 'sacred seat', 'khat', 'snatch', 'la-la', 'va-jay-jay', 'cookie', 'coco', 'cho-cho', 'purse', 'pattercake', and 'frangalina', but adds, "Call the vagina what you want, but women all around the world are suffering.

The overwhelming screams from an angry vagina are fibroid tumours. Other screams are painful menstrual cycles, infertility, unlawful abortions, difficult birthing episodes, miscarriages, troublesome menopause experiences and cancerous tumours.

"Eating disorders such as obesity or anorexia also announces the presence of an angry vagina. Research will also reveal that you will see a correlation between the growth of the fast-food industry and the growth of women and their womb issues.

"Depression, diabetes, high *lo** pressure, migraine headaches and sexually transsmitted infections all warn us that our wombs are angry."

Asked if you can have an angry vagina by having bad sex, she loudly proclaims "Yes, most definitely! So many women experience hit-and-run lovers, or husbands and boyfriends who have abused their bodies. Plus so many women have never truly experienced the joy of an orgasm, or are having an orgasm with the wrong man. An angry vagina is an angry woman while a happy vagina is a happy woman."

She added: "Angry vaginas are screaming, 'No more secrets! No more damage! No more crimes! No more wars!'

WELL-BEING

"My book is an invitation for all readers to pay 'holistic' attention to their physical, mental, emotional and spiritual wellness. It is a guide to using the reader's nutrition habits, detoxification routines, physical exercises, prayers, meditations and spiritual activities to 'heal thyself'.

"The angry vagina is a planetary problem that needs planetary priority before we all self-destruct."

Viewing herself as an African born in America, the New Yorker was born Helen Robinson but was given her name, Queen, by her late spiritual mother and Afua by her elder and now ancestor Baba Ishangi.

"I have embraced the ways of Yoruba culture since the 80s, or should I say Yoruba culture has embraced me?"

Revealing that she was reluctant to take on the name, Queen, not wanting to sound pompous, Afua told The Voice that she decided to embrace the title so other women could feel empowered and uplifted.

Choosing to celebrate and honour her African culture and ancestral lineage within all levels of her personal and professional life, the 5'6" dynamic and multitalented Queen Afua says: "Anything that I relate to as holistic is in fact African natural lifestyle. When I began to study holistic health, all my findings brought me back to the first people of the world, who we know came from Khemet (Egypt), in other words Africa. I learnt pretty fast that if we began to use nature as a principle to heal we would become whole again."

"Food, as a medicine, is my foundation. Whatever the illness or disease, depending on the level a person may have, I am able to use mother nature to heal whether it is found in food, herbs, minerals or even clay - earth. My remedies bring us back to the first form of healing powers and medicines."

And she is firm in her belief that "...the journey to a happy vagina is through love and nurturing thus, connecting with nature. Taking time for oneself is also vital because women by nature are constantly serving others consciously and subconsciously.

"There are three womb cycles in the body. The womb of the mind - what you think you create, followed by the womb of the heart - what you feel you create. So your thoughts and feelings translate to the womb, which makes up the third cycle. So when women complain about various female ailments, you can bet your bottom dollar it's reflected in their vaginas."

However, Afua doesn't only speak about women. She believes men all around the world have equally angry penises, hinting at the subject of her next book.

"When our wombs are happy our hearts are happy, because we are living accordingly to nature, using the five elements - air, fire, water, earth and ether (or gases)" she declares. "When we are in harmony with our wombs, our wombs are in harmony with us."

FOR many of women, the existence of the G-spot is as fantastical as the existence of Santa Claus, and something that only the innocent believe is really hidden away, waiting for that 'come hither' touch.

Even doctors and researchers have battled with the G-spot issue, as many women and their partners complain that it's elusive.

"Some people think it exists and some people think it doesn't," gynaecologist at the Ripon Surgi-Centre Dr Charles Rockhead said. "But anatomically it is supposed to be on the vaginal wall on the skene gland," he explained.

While many women may have difficulty locating their G-spot or having someone else locate it, Dr Rockhead advises that the greatest stimulation is the opposite sensation. Therefore, if the vaginal area is hot, something cold should be applied, or if it is cold then the application of something hot might help.

He also noted that women can in fact search for the spot themselves.

"You can put the finger inside the vagina and press upwards," he said. He added that it is as a result of the existence of, or the search for the G-spot why cunnilingus has become so popular.

"That is why cunnilingus is such a big thing. It (tongue) is centred around that general area," he said.

Meanwhile, as women continue on the quest for the G-spot, in many North American countries, cosmetic surgery, known as G-spot augmentation, is done to attempt to heighten the sensation. In this surgery, collagen is injected around the area where the G-spot is said to be located.

The G-spot is believed to be a small spongy pad that wraps around the urethra. If that pad is stimulated through the vaginal wall during sexual arousal, it is said to produce one of the most intense orgasms a woman could ever experience.

It is believed that upon discovery, appropriate stimulation will cause the female to take a deep breath and push down (as if delivering a baby), with a feeling of wanting to urinate.

During G-spot orgasm, a large amount of fluid may suddenly gush out through the urethra. It is difficult to estimate how much fluid is expelled. The fluid is colourless, and does not cause a stain. While ignorant persons may mistake this fluid for urine, bear in mind that urine is yellowish and carries a smell.

Will a selfish man be replaced in the bedroom?

YEARS before women got in-tuned with their bodies; before Sex and the City and before sex shops and orgasms on the go, women were led to believe that their role in sex was to just accept what the man provided and grin and bear it. And so, many women lived in worlds where the orgasm was non-existent and where pleasure meant making their men, and only the men, happy. We're not sure when exactly the sexual revolution spiralled, but today, many women aren't taking just any old loving in the bedroom. They are asking for what they want and little by little, showing men that they are equal partners, who deserve as much pleasure from the relationship as men get.

But for some couples the revolution has been slow in coming. The women complain that their men are selfish; not willing to do what it takes to drive them wild. And with the proliferation of explicit songs being fed by our local artistes, many of whom are still into the 'me, me, me' mode, more and more we're meeting up on the selfish man who is solely interested in pleasuring himself.

Is your man one?

Selfish act #1: He won't go down!

Even as the once highly-taboo act of oral sex becomes a staple in many bedrooms across Jamaica, cunnilingus is a performance that some men still swear they will never be participants in.

It's an inflexible view of sex that Sex Therapist Dr Sidney McGill warns about, and one that Gianna Brown, whose story is told below, lists as her reason for cheating.

"Vaginas are made to excrete urine, expel a baby and contain a penis during sexual intercourse," Dr McGill explained, as the reason behind the negative views of some men towards cunnilingus. "The main reason they (men) give is that the vagina is not clean enough..., worst still if they also have the view that it is the ugliest part of the woman's body. I believe the view is developed during adolescence when they talk and learn about sex among themselves. Many more will say in the group that they will never go down but do so in privacy and actually love it. The refusal to have oral sex can also have a religious or homophobic reasoning," he explained.

Thirty-six-year-old Steven F told All Woman that oral sex is something he has never done and has no intention of doing, even if it means his partner will walk away from the relationship.

"I don't see any fun in that," he said. "If she wants to do it to me then fine, but I am not doing it. But the real reason is that it (the vagina) doesn't smell good. And from it don't smell good then it can't taste good!" he said. Steven explained that if his partner confessed to him that oral sex is the only thing that gives her sexual satisfaction, he would allow her to go rather than perform the act.

"What if you don't like it but you did it only to accommodate her and then decide one day that you cannot do it anymore?" he reasoned. "That means she would still end up leaving because you are no longer willing to do it."

Dr McGill explained that oral sex is very pleasurable for most women because the clitoris (which is loaded with nerve endings) gets direct stimulation with a soft tool -- the tongue.

"Manual stimulation sometimes is far less pleasurable, especially with a big, rough, insensitive hand. Penis-vagina interactions do not always directly stimulate the clitoris," he explained.

Selfish act # 2 -- the man, the 'me-attitude' and the sex tapes

Even as some men refuse to return the favour to please their partners, some feel that women who are willing to go down deserve 'ratings'.

This was strongly stated in the reactions of a group of Kingston men All Woman interviewed, most of whom had no problems with women who do the act.

For 24-year-old Dain S, who grew up hearing his uncle speak out against 'bowers' and therefore fostered the view that it is something a 'real' man never does, he too takes pleasure in having a woman perform fellatio on him and even demands it from time to time.

"Yes, is big man ting, mi not doing it to no girl, but she can do it to me," he said. "I believe I can satisfy a woman without having to go down."

And then there are the men who refuse to do what their women want, even when begged, because they just can't be bothered.

"That's my fiancé to the 'T'," 26- year-old Lola B explained. "I do everything -- look up suggestions on the 'Net; read the magazines, buy the toys, and all he does is please himself and leave me wanting more."

Explained Andrew Morris: "I'll admit that some men are selfish, but then, it takes a big man to be able to get to the point where he cares about his partner, to ensure that she gets something out of the relationship too. Biologically, sexual pleasure seems skewed towards men, and many men are too lazy to do more than biology requires."

Another issue of concern is the recent proliferation of sex tapes, where the women are the ones always shown, and made to face the shame when exposed.

Oftentimes the men involved simply lay back and enjoy the moment.

"In this case, the men are excited to show the world what they're getting," Morris theorised. "It's another cultural thing -- similar to the notches in the bedpost thing; where the women are mere conquests and the man is just trying to satisfy his selfish desires, and in this case, having his cake, eating it, and showing the world that he's blessed!"

'Mi a give him bun! Straight'

"Me? Mi a give him bun! Straight," one Kingston vendor who identified herself as Carlene said in reaction to the question about what women do when they have a lover who won't indulge. "Yes, sure he can take care of me with other things, but I want my proper sort out and if he's not doing it (oral sex) mi nah wild him -- a nuff man out there that will give a woman what she want."

She continued: "Mi sorry fi dem. Is that woman nowadays love. But still plenty man out there say they're not doing it and when you catch them behind closed doors you see them gwaan wild!"

Gianna Brown admits that she cheated on an ex, who she told time and time again to get with the programme and open his mind to non-traditional sexual habits.

"I told him straight, the first time, that every man was doing that now, that no woman would settle for any man who was unwilling," she said. "But obviously he didn't understand. He was a nice guy, but stupidly held on to the belief that Christian men didn't do those things. So when I had to move to Ochi for a job, I cheated on him two weeks after moving, with a man who had no reservations."

According to Dr McGill, not being willing to perform oral sex does not necessarily mean the relationship has to end.

"The sexual relationship tends to survive if the woman sees the man as being good enough as a lover and good enough in the various roles he plays in the relationship," he said.

Are toys replacing men in the bedroom?

Once upon a time, the sex-toy buyer was the single woman without a partner, who needed something to ward off her desires.

But today, as more women -- including those in serious relationships -- complain that their men are not willing to spend time satisfying their sexual needs, they are turning to their options, which include investing in sex toys.

"I have my thing in my top drawer available for whenever my husband is acting the fool," Janet W said. "And all my girlfriends have one or two too, it's something we all need at some point as we all have problem husbands."

But Dr McGill assured that sex toys are not replacing men in the bedroom.

"Sex toys give people more sexual choices. They are sexual enhancers and for persons who are without sex partners, they are very good tension relievers," he said.

And women in relationships sometimes turn to the use of vibrators but will keep the toy hidden from their partners, as they believe it may crush the man's ego to know she is seeking 'outside' help.

"[But] I think that the use of a sex toy such as the vibrator does not signal that the male partner is sexually incompetent," Dr McGill explained. "Sex toys should be seen in the way one takes vitamin pills during a good meal -- it is only a supplement."

-- Donna Hussey- Whyte

Disclaimer: Views expressed are that of the author, and do not necessarily reflect my personal opinion!!!

Disclaimer: Views expressed are that of the author, and do not necessarily reflect my personal opinion!!!

-- Edited by jubalson on Monday 19th of April 2010 12:12:56 PM

And now she wants to be serious.


I was just kicking it with her, spending a little time here and there.  She was a little iffy about being with a guy due to her past history.

So there were times I would call and not get her.  Days where we will not speak and a lot of times our communication will only come in the form of a text.  I thought she was kicking it with another dude and I was that side person.

then one evening we got intimate.


Now, we have been hanging out a lot more, she's been taking the initiative to see me and when I call, I dont even here the phone ring before she pick up.

How do I tell her I have another baby without losing her.

1) It is a good workout. Sex burns about 150 calories every half an hour. It will lower your cholesterol and improve breathing circulation.

2) You won't get sick. According to research if you have sex 1-2 times a week you are less likely to get sick.

3) You'll feel happier. You will feel a greater sense of well-being. Women who have more sex were clinically proven to be less depressed than women
Who don't have sex.

4) Makes you look better; problem is that ugly people don't get any. Sex releases hormones which make your skin and hair softer and shinier and tone your physique.

5) (The best reason) You will live longer. Studies prove that sex makes you live longer. Men who had sex 1-2 times a week had half the death rate as those who did not indulge themselves at least once a month. It also makes you look younger. If you have sex 3 times a week you may look up to 10 years younger than you really are.

Did You Know?
----------------------------------------

1) Having sex 3 times a week for 1 year adds up to running 75 miles!!!!

Grown Women  

Girls   want to control the man in their life.  
Grown women   know that if he's truly hers, he doesn't need controlling.  
Girls   check you for not calling them.  
Grown women   are too busy to realize you hadn't.  

Girls   are afraid to be alone.
Grown women   revel in it-using it as a time for personal growth.

Girls   ignore the good guys.
Grown women   ignore the bad guys.
 
Girls   make you come home.  
Grown women   make you want to come home.  

Girls   leave their schedule wide-open and wait for a guy to call and make plans.  
Grown women make their own plans and nicely tell the guy to get in where he fits.  

Girls   worry about not being pretty and/or good enough  
for their man.  
Grown women   know that they are pretty and/or good enough for any man.  

Girls   try to monopolize all their man's time (i.e., don't want him hanging with his friends).  
Grown women   realize that a lil' bit of space makes the 'together time' even more special-and goes to kick it with her own friends. 
 
Girls   think a guy crying is weak.  
Grown women   offer their shoulder and a tissue.

Girls   want to be spoiled and 'tell' their man so.
Grown   women 'show' him and make him comfortable enough to reciprocate without fear of losing his 'manhood'.  

Girls   get hurt by one man and make all men pay for it.  
Grown women   know that was just one man.

Girls   fall in love and chase aimlessly after the object of their affection, ignoring all 'signs'.
Grown women  know that sometimes the one you love, doesn't always love you back-and move on, without bitterness.  

IF you dare to spend the time to study history or if you read various portions of the Scriptures, you will find that men have been telling lies for centuries. They do so for various reasons, and of course, they have differing views on what are lies, what are half-truths and what can pass as 'the truth'.

Why do they do it? Below are some of the interesting responses I got during an informal survey.

1. "Men will lie to save the relationship. As a man, I know that if I admit to doing something bad, it could end my relationship, so I normally lie to my girlfriend because I love her and I don't want to lose her."

2 "Men lie to hide the truth, especially when we have ulterior motives."

3. "Men lie to cover up something bad that they have done, so that the girlfriend/wife doesn't find out the truth and leave them".

4. "Men lie when they are cheating. If they are not cheating, why would they lie? Unless of course they are hiding something about themselves that they do not want you to know."

5. "Men lie but I cannot say why because I do not do it. If I tell you why men lie, I would be lying."

6. "Men will lie because they don't like the constant nagging. Sometimes they want to tell the truth but they are so afraid that the woman will begin to nag, so they just tell her a lie."

7. "If you ask a man a question, he might not really lie, but he may answer in such a way that may have you believing something otherwise. He will do this not just to cover himself, but to protect you."

8. "Men lie to avoid confrontation. Men in general do not like confrontation, so if they suspect that the truth will cause a confrontation they might just let a lie slip by."

Some men will look you straight in the eyes and tell you a lie without even blinking, but if a man is serious that he wants to stop lying to his partner she might be better able to help him if she has a good grasp of his challenges or why he tends to tell lies.

Remember that if you practise to tell lies, it will become a habit that will eventually destroy you or ruin your relationship. When one lie is told, oftentimes it forces the liar to tell a multitude of other lies. Sometimes the liar will not remember what lies were told previously and eventually the truth will come out. When this happens, it puts the liar in an awkward position.

Note though that one way to help you not to tell lies is to force yourself to practice good habits. This way you will not have to make up lies, because you won't have anything to hide or to cover up. Try always to walk right and to do good to everyone. Then, if you are backed into a corner, or if you are accused, your conscience will set you free when you make eye contact and say, "It wasn't me".

Black Multi-Strap Sandal

GYNOISSUES

FOR years we have heard stories of what women should or should not do while menstruating. In fact, it was once believed that menstruating women posed a threat to the well-being and safety of others and should if possible, keep to themselves. While some of these myths were written off as old wives' fables, others have been believed for years and have many women walking the chalk line even now.

However, gynaecologist Dr Charles Rockhead said the myths below are nothing more than foolish blather.

Do you believe any of them?

* Never hold a young baby while you are having your menses as this is believed to cause the baby's stomach to gripe.

* If a woman washes her hair during her period, it will not hold a curl and it will instead hang limp .

* Do not go to a funeral and look at the dead while having your period as this will cause your bones to rot.

* If you are menstruating, do not go out to sea, ie, no boat rides or cruises as this will cause the sea to become angry and may even overturn the vessel.

* If a menstruating woman cans fruits or vegetables, the fruits will spoil in the can.

* Dentist visits should not be done during the menses, because fillings put in during this time will fall out.

* During menstruation a woman should not go hunting as the animals will smell her *lo**, which will drive them away.

* A menstruating woman should not engage in sexual activity as the man will be cursed.

* A menstruating woman should not help to produce mayonnaise as it will not come together; it will instead curdle.

* She should not touch a fruit tree during this time as the fruits will become spoilt on the tree.

* She should not bake as the dough will refuse to rise.

* Jams or jellies a woman attempts to make at that time of the month will fail to set.

* A woman should not bathe or go swimming during her menses as others who uses the facility will be cursed.

IN everything we do there is reason or motivation. Flirting is once such act that we engage in with clearly defined goals and objectives, chief of which is to signal romantic interest in the opposite sex.

Researchers Perper & Fox, 1980 posited five steps flirters go through during the initial contact. See if you can identify with the researchers as you reflect on your own flirting experience. These steps they claim can take place within the space of an hour.

Step 1: The approach

The saying, "Our eyes met across the crowded room", is perhaps true in this regard as the woman walks in and scans the room. She will then "pree" the guy who grabs her interest. Soon they make eye contact and he starts moving towards her.

Step 2: Talk

Upon approaching her he makes the first move to engage her in conversation. By this time they are side by side. He will ask a question that requires an answer from her. If she responds favourably he will have received the green light. He then proceeds with small talk. If she fails to respond, the process could end prematurely.

Step 3: Swivel and turn

After minutes of light conversation the flirters begin to display interest in one another. One person will swivel and turn to the other and then the other party will respond accordingly. Soon the side by side posture gradually shifts to face to face as the conversation deepens.

Step 4: Touch

As they go seemingly into a world of their own, the woman will "accidentally" touch the man's hand as she contains herself as she laughs at a witty comment that he makes. She may even attempt to remove a piece of loose thread from his shirt. By this time they enter the "personal zone" and a subtle touch as they engage in conversation is acceptable.

Step 5: Synchronisation

By this time there is unison in movement. So if they are seated at a table they will pick up their glasses at the same time and place them down as if rehearsed. Body language becomes quite strong as the flirters' synchronised movements indicate that there is chemistry between them both.

At the end of the process they may choose to end it there, if the exercise was nothing more than an ego-boosting exercise, or they may choose to take it to the next level. Some persons have been known to meet their soul mates out of a flirting episode.

A word of warning though, like they say about drinking and driving, flirt responsibly. Flirting under the influence of alcohol could spell disaster.

ONCE upon a time, every woman's dream was to end up with a lawyer, doctor, just about anyone with a college-accredited brain who was holding a high-profile job. But as the recession takes its toll, many women are realising that basic needs -- like gas, food and a good mechanic -- far outweigh the need to profile with a 'smart' man who can't drill a hole in the wall. And then comes the lightbulb moment, when they realise that if they had someone fixing their cars for free, or helping them build their dream homes, the expenses would decrease.

While some women pass off the professions below as being too blue collar for their taste, others are wising up to the realisation that a man with skills beats a smarty pants who sits in an office playing Solitaire all day.

Here are the 10 men you should be dating:

1. The chef. With rising food prices making dinner options slimmer for the gal on a budget, dating a chef will open the options up. Chefs can make anything look classy, and can whip up a corned-beef surprise that even the most discriminating palates will appreciate. And if your chef happens to work full time in a nice restaurant, remember that he also has first dibs on discounts and leftovers. Plus, you don't ever have to worry about cooking.

2. The gas pump attendant. While this may seem insignificant, some stations allow their workers to take gas and pay for it at the end of the week/fortnight, and they may also get discounts. Along with this, is the added benefit of having him inform you beforehand that prices will be going up or down, so you can top up and reap the benefits.

3. The policeman or soldier. He may not make much, but not only will you have your personal bodyguard to serve, protect and reassure, with the policeman you also have a man who will get you out of those $5,000 speeding tickets -- and any girl can appreciate that. And with dating an army man, you'll be constantly reassured that you are safe and secure -- no thief or scoundrel will dare come near you with a man like that by your side.

4. The mechanic. Fixing a car is not cheap. Dating a mechanic allows you the benefits of learning where the most affordable parts can be bought and better yet, he will fix your vehicle free of cost. He will also ensure that your vehicle is free from problems and always roadworthy.

5. The National Housing Trust (NHT) employee. While you may prefer dating one of the managers at the NHT, note that workers have a host of benefits that you too can profit from. They are allowed staff loans at minimal interest rates; they are first informed of schemes to be built with some staff members even being considered for purchasing. You'll be in the loop and will be on the way to owning your own home, or homes, faster.

6. The construction worker. Do you have a piece of land but the labour costs to build would send you to the poorhouse? Consider dating a construction worker. Not only do you get the added benefit of the ripped muscles that every concrete slinger seems to sport, but you get free and excellent labour from a man who also doesn't mind getting dirty when it matters.

7. The taxi driver. Talk about eliminating the need to purchase your own vehicle and putting that money towards something else! A taxi driver will take you anywhere you want to go at no cost, while doing your drop-offs and pick-ups -- and he'll beat the traffic while doing so! What better way to save on travelling expenses?

8. The farmer. The farmer will guarantee you an endless supply of fresh food, and with food prices being so ridiculously high, you could do well with a man like this. And any man who appreciates nature like farmers do, will also appreciate you, God's creation.

9. The utility worker (cable/electricity/ water). With your dollar already stretched to the limit, having a utility worker can -- believe it or not -- be of some benefit. He'll be able to wire or pipe your house at no cost to you and can get you great discounts on the services. Plus, all those stories you hear about the cable guy are true -- not only do you get free cable hook-up, but you get some interesting eye candy as well.

10. The plumber. Leaking pipes can cost you a fortune to fix. A plumber will work on your pipes for free and ensure that there's always water flowing in your home.

                         

    

                      
 
                      

                      

                      

THIS WAS EDITED AFTER VIEWING LYNDO BWOY AND JAMWOMEN'S COMMENT, THIS POST IS SOLELY AS A MEANS OF COMICAL ENTERTAIN AND IS NOT IN ANYWAY A MEAN BY WHICH ONE SHOULD INTERPRET IT AS MY SUPPORT IN ANYWAY OF THE PHYSICAL ABUSE OF ANY WOMEN BY A MALE.


-- Edited by PATRICK on Sunday 17th of May 2009 08:28:54 PM

Black Velvet & Satin Corsage Platform

I JUST HAVE TO ADMIT..ITS SO TRUE..

1a.) Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

1b.) Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3.) Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine. response refer to #1a.

4.) Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5.) Loud Sigh : This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6.) That's Okay : This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7.) Thanks : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome.

8.) Whatever : Is a women's way of saying GO TO HELL!

9.) Don't worry about it, I got it : Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to #3.

-- Edited by trend on Saturday 7th of November 2009 08:28:07 PM

What Is It?

The Pope has it but he does not use it.
Your father has it but your mother uses it.
Nuns do not need it.
Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one,
Michael J. Fox's is quite small.

What is it?

                                                   Ms Bella Star


               

                
             
                 

                 


                                                               VS

                                                          LA Brown

                  

                     
                 
                  
                                  

              

                   

AS a woman, you are bound to come across men who add to your life as well as those who take away from it. While they belong to the same species, you will find that all men are different because of their upbringing, their values and their outlook in life. Even so, we have taken on the difficult task of breaking them down into 10 groups for you.

1. The juggler aka player: He is a stark opponent of the one-burner system and never misses a chance to hook up with a girl wherever he goes. He has a girl for every occasion and is usually skilled at making sure they never meet one another. Don't be fooled when he tells you you're the only one.

2. The sponge: He is always borrowing with the intention to pay back, but is never able to deliver on this promise. He is the type who hangs out on the corner daily instead of looking for a job, but is never opposed to the idea of milking you to wear the latest clothes or own the classiest car.

3. Mr Ambitious: He is always looking towards the future and is usually successful at his endeavours, since a lot of thought and hard work goes behind his planning. He is also most times well educated and is fascinated with learning new things. But his quest for success will probably mean a lot of lonely nights and broken engagements for you as he puts in extra hours at work to get the job done.

4.The protector: He never lets you out of his sight and if he does, usually calls you on the hour to make sure you're fine. He is very demanding and can sometimes be abusive if you allow him to.

5. The shy guy: Just working up the nerve to look at you head-on is a task that causes him to break out in cold sweat. He is the type of guy who will not make an approach for fear that he will be rejected. He is usually sweet, never refusing to meet your needs, but unfortunately oftentimes lacks the confidence to keep you for too long.

6. The religious man: This group can be broken down into two, because while you have the Christian brother who is dedicated to serving Christ before all else, you also have the religious fanatic. This is the type of man who believes that even the acts of putting on lip-gloss or working outside the home are offences that will cause you to burn in eternal hellfire.

7. The mama's boy: It's bad enough that his mother doesn't like you, but then he undermines everything you do for him by siding with her. He still brings his laundry to her, visits regularly for cooked meals and advice, and calls her every chance he gets to give updates on what's happening in his life.

8. The pretty boy: He is the type who believes he's God's gift to women. You don't have much of a chance with this one unless you don't mind competing with the mirror for his attention. Everything about him suggests perfection and exudes confidence: not a hair is out of place and his shoes are always super shine.

9. The freak: Need we say much more about this kind? Just looking at him sometimes gives you the creeps. His requests in the bedroom are usually outrageous and he sees nothing wrong with trying to get it on with your younger sister. Paedophiles and other child molesters fall into this category.

10. Mr Right: Some women are still searching for him, while others can attest to already finding him. It's hard to describe him because the truth is that only you alone can tell us what he looks like. One thing is clear, however, and that is that he has the ability to make you feel complete and worthwhile as a woman.

-- Nadine Wilson

 

Sex Positions and Other Tips for Getting Pregnant

Sex = babies, right? Actually, it's surprising as many people get pregnant as they do. If everything is in working order for both partners and the timing is just right, you still only have a 25% chance of egg + sperm = pregnancy. Many people believe that there are a few things you can do to improve your odds while trying.

Timing is Everything

When our mothers warned us it could happen the first time no matter when we had sex, they were mostly trying to scare us. Granted, it can happen, but the best time to get pregnant is when you're ovulatingusually somewhere between days 12 and 20 of your cycle. There's a whole science to determining when you're ovulating you can pee on a stick, check your cervical mucus, or chart your temperature. Find out which fertility test and monitor works best for you and circle the day on your calendar.

Sex every day when you're ovulating is ideal if the sperm count is good; if not, aim for every other day instead. Men should refrain from unproductive ejaculation for 48 hours prior to the woman's fertile time.

Get an Oil Change

While sperm can be pretty hardy, it doesn't take much to slow them down. Unfortunately, using most kinds of oils, lubricants or similar products can keep sperm from getting where it wants to go.

Even if your lubricant doesn't contain a spermicide (such as nonoxynol-9), it may contain other ingredients that can be toxic to sperm. A product named ConceivEase, developed by gynecologists, is the most fertility-friendly lubricant on the market.

Some kinds of sex play need to wait until later in the month when you're not trying to have a baby. Since saliva can slow down sperm on the way to meet the eggs, oral sex should be kept to minimum when trying to conceive.

Get Natural

Natural treatments such as vitamins and herbs which are thought to restore a woman's ovulation cycles and improve a man's sperm count can also be an important aspect of helping a couple get pregnant.

Sex Positions

The issue of whether or not sex positions affect the chances of conception is controversial. There is no scientific evidence that coital poisitioning will improve your chances (ASRM). However, many people feel that, despite the fact that vaginal mucus is primarily responsible for moving sperm towards the egg, it's a good idea to give gravity a chance to aid the process.

Those who advocate optimizing sex positions to aid conception generally espouse the following:

Optimize your position

Any type of sex can result in conception, but if you're having trouble, woman on top may not be your best option. Toni Weschler, MS suggests that "if you have a tipped uterus, you may have better luck having intercourse from behind with the female on her hands and knees. Having intercourse in this position it allows the sperm better access to the cervix."

Post-coital Tilt

When you're done playing, stick a pillow under your hips and elevate them slightly for 15-20 minutes. You're increasing your odds and sperm swimming to the cervix. You don't have to put your legs in the air and you don't need an expensive "infertility pillow," either just throw a towel over the pillow and get comfy. Again, this is more of a common sense measure that is not scientifically confirmed to produce results but it can't hurt.

Stay Out of the Water

Even if you're trying to jazz up the baby-making sex, nix the hot tub for a couple of reasons. First, hot water decreases sperm production. And if you have sex in the water, there's a good chance that the sperm will end up swimming in the hot tub.

Was it Good for You?

Some folks believe the woman needs to have an orgasm on the theory that the contractions of her reproductive system may draw the sperm further toward the cervix and into the uterus, enhancing conception. There's no research to back that up, but it won't hurt, either. The male partner, however, should definitely ejaculate.

1. When were watching our favorite show, dont try to distract us, make fun of the show, or make fun of how much we like the show. We probably know its lame, but we still watch. You have sports; we have our shows.
2. We like when you cook for us, it doesnt have to be anything fancy, just food we arent picky its the thought that counts. If you absolutely cant cook at all, get take out and set it up somewhat nicely.
3. Go to the gymthose pelvic muscles are insanely hot! The beer belly is not!
4. Dont compare us to your ex-girlfriends; we arent them.
5. Open doors for us, we like our men to be gentlemen, bring chivalry back!
6. Just because we don't say thank you every time you do something, doesn't mean we dont appreciate every little thing you do. The little things usually mean more than anything else.
7. Flowers dont always make up for mistakes, but we love to get them when we least expect it.
8. We love to take pictures and when we want to take several its because we want cute ones of you or us to show off to other people.
9. When we want a girls night out, dont be mad or think we are going out to look for other guys. We need our girls night as much as you guys need your guys night.
10. You can shoot hoops, score a goal, knock down big fat guys, and hit a little baseball with a stick, so why can't you aim in the toilet and not on it.
11. Saying something sweet might get you off the hook; doing something sweet will always get you off the hook.
12. We dont shave our legs everyday, get over it.
13. When you kiss us we don't like to feel like we are making out with a dog so dont slobber on our face.
14. Dont ever lie to us; we will always find out.
15. Dont tell us who is hot because we dont care.
16. We shouldnt have to plan everything, we like surprises, a little spontaneity goes a long way!
17. Were not always girly girls; we can like boy stuff too.
18. DO NOT act different or be a jerk around your friends. It will get you in the end... (We remember these types of things)
19. Don't always expect us to call you. The phone works both ways!
20. No matter if we're fat or not, most girls aren't as self-confident as guys! And we need to be complimented as often as possible!
21. Being drunk is not an excuse for ANY of your actions.
22. Do not brag to your friends...unless you want us to discuss with the girls how small your penis is.
23. Walks in the rain, kisses on the forehead, and cooking dinner for us will get you everywhere.
24. If you're developing such good finger skills playing video games, you better put them to good use sometimes.
25. Anything you do or say to another girl that you wouldn't want us to know about is considered cheating.
26. If you refuse to dance, expect us to dance with other guys...and lots of them.
27. We don't always expect you to pay for us, but it doesn't hurt to at least offer every once in a while
28. Foreplay isn't something we should have to ask for...it's a prerequisite
29. No girl just wants to be your "friend with benefits."
30. We reserve the right to hate all of your ex-girlfriends
31. Think before you speak...it'll make a world of difference
32. Don't screw us over...especially if we have an older brother or protective guy friends...they will hunt you down and kill you
33. Just because we're still just "hanging out" doesn't make it ok to sleep with your ex-girlfriend
34. We arent asking for you to spill your heart, but some information about whats going on in that head of yours, is nice every once in a while.
35. Don't complain on how long it takes us to get ready and then moan about how we always used to get dolled up for you and now we dont anymore.
36. No backseat drivers, none!
37. If you hold our hand while you are driving we will be thoroughly impressed...especially if it's a stick.
38. The ability to play the guitar will help your COGL.
39. Return favors: we massage, you massage; we go down, you go down; we shave, you shave (and not just your face).
40. Boxers and maybe boxer briefs sometimes . . . NEVER whitey-tighties, NEVER!
41. Sensitive guys are great . . . but crying more than we do in a movie just isn't right.
42. Silent treatment, shoulder shrugs, tears, yelling and nasty looks all add up to . . . YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG
43. Your way is not always the right way. Learn to say- "I was wrong"
44. If we can't talk to you during a football game, then don't try to get our attention during Grey's Anatomy
45. We have other friends of the male gender. Just because we have guy friends doesn't mean we are sleeping with them or think they are attractive,sometimes it's nice to have a guys perspective on things! So leave your jealousy at the door!
46. Remember actions speak louder than words.
47. Unless youre Dale Earnhardt Jr., were just as capable to drive as you are.
48. We dont mind being DD (designated driver) as long as youre not the DD (designated drunk) every night of the week, and you occasionally return the favor.
49. Patience is a virtue; we know what were doing.
50. Despite the fact that most of you will get mad and completely ignore what we're trying to tell you on this list, we'll still love you anyways. Probably not as much, but we gotta keep the species going right?
51. Don't act hard around your friends because I won't make you hard tonight.
52. "Wife Beaters" are not an adequate form of fashion.
53. If we wanted to be on video tape, we'd be a porn star not your girlfriend.
54. It takes a special kind of stupid to forget birthdays
55. Don't say you love me if you don't mean it.
56. If you don't act like soap-opera guys, don't expect us to dress like Victoria Secret models.
57. Just because you L the C doesn't mean we have to S the D.
58. We never have to wonder if your orgasm was real.
59. Would you like it if a guy treated your sister that way? We didn't think so.
60. When you see a girl with huge knockers, do not go "Damn!" and then laugh appreciatively to yourself - we can hear you.
61. When the girls get together, we talk about EVERYTHING. Meaning my best friends know everything about you.
62. Guys in uniform are hot, no lie, sometimes almost better than when you take them off.
63. When we are through, dont pretend like its okay to call whenever you want and make everything seem fine, especially if you caused the relationship to end. And, dont tell us about your other girlfriends or girls you met because if your trying to make us jealous, ur a lowlife.
64. If we say no once, we mean it, don't ask again and again. No means NO!


-- Edited by bLaCkBeatZ (Mod) on Wednesday 20th of January 2010 11:42:12 PM

-- Edited by Dj Tweety on Thursday 1st of April 2010 12:40:20 AM

THROUGHOUT history, many foods have been touted as aphrodisiacs, able to arouse or stimulate sexual desire. While the aphrodisiac quality of many has not been scientifically proven, some experts -- and avid users -- will tell you that there are certain types of foods that have been serving as sexual sustenance in many cultures for thousands of years.

So if you are going through a bout of low libido and want to rise above it, then maybe it is time to check your refrigerator and restock if necessary!

Ripe bananas are believed to contain the bromelain enzyme, which increases libido

Some natives of central Mexico call the avocado tree the testicle tree

Goat soup is believed to have properties to put you in the mood

* Cow cod soup: This is a Jamaican dish that many men swear by. Ask any man and he will tell you that the dish, made from the nether regions of the bull and cooked with bananas and scotch bonnet pepper in a white rum-based broth, is the fastest way to get them aroused. *

* Ginseng: A 2002 study by the Southern Illinois University School of Medicine found that in laboratory animals, both Asian and American forms of ginseng enhance libido and copulatory performance. These effects of ginseng may not be due to changes in hormone secretion, but to direct effects of ginseng, or its ginsenoside components, on the central nervous system and gonadal tissues. In males, ginsenoside can facilitate penile erection, the study said.

* Mannish water: This a goat soup believed to have properties to put you in the mood. It is made from various goat parts, sometimes including the head and brains.

* Celery: It is believed that this is a fantastic food source for sexual stimulationi. This is because it contains androsterone, an odourless hormone released through male perspiration and turns women on. This is more effective if eaten raw.

* Raw oysters: This is said to be one of the most popular types of aphrodisiacs. Oysters are high in zinc, which raises sperm and testosterone production. Oysters also contain dopamine, a hormone known to increase libido. Some men even feel that sucking a raw oyster is in itself erotic.

* Ripe bananas: Ripe bananas are believed to contain the bromelain enzyme, which is believed to increase libido and reverse impotence in men. Additionally, they are good sources of potassium and B vitamins like riboflavin, which increase the body's overall energy levels.

* Avocado (pear): Some natives of central Mexico called the avocado tree 'testicle tree' mainly because avocados tend to look like that body part. These fruits are believed to contain high levels of folic acid, which helps metabolise proteins, thus giving persons more energy. They also contain vitamin B6 (a nutrient that increases male hormone production) and potassium (which helps regulate a woman's thyroid gland), two elements that help increase libido in both men and women.

* Dark Chocolate: This is believed to be one of the more potent turn on foods, thus the reason for its popularity come Valentine's Day.

-- Edited by jubalson on Monday 1st of March 2010 01:55:49 PM

So many tongue's being pierced... who here has one or thinking to get one?

Was having a convo with a shorty and she told me that she is a screamer,


i told her that I prefer a moaner cause sometimes the scream can sound a little fake...

Ladies ---> Which one are you

Men --- Which one you prefer...

"A woman's mind should be to console her man's mind. She is to do something in the way of making you feel good to go out tomorrow to work. Otherwise, man is outside looking for peace of mind. No man wants a woman home arguing with him." -- Messenger Elijah Muhammad

YOU should always endeavour to take care of your man's physical, emotional and sexual needs. Here are some ways in which can you do this successfully.

Caring for his emotional needs

* Appreciate him. Tell him how great he is, how much you appreciate the little things he does and just how much you love him. Speak highly of him to others, this means not calling up your best friend to tell her about his latest stupid mistake.

* Show him you care by listening to him. Listen to what he has to say. This may include topics that you neither understand nor care about, such as cricket or a new software programme he is working on.

* If you care about him, you will forgive him. Couples need to be able to forgive each other. If you are unforgiving and pursue the mistakes of your partner, then either you will separate or you will have a very uncomfortable relationship.

* Respect your man. Your man comes in contact with different persons during the day while away from home. Some may be impolite, insulting and make him feel less of a man. As his partner, he expects you to show respect and encouragement at home and thereby boost his trampled ego. When he comes home, greet him with a smile and a happy expression.

* A soft answer turns away wrath. Be courteous and polite when you are talking to him. Do not shout. Do not interrupt him when he is talking, and praise him in front of others. Be careful not to humiliate him, do not talk to him harshly, do not abuse him, do not be inattentive to him, and do not call him by any obscene titles.

 

Taking care of his sexual needs

* Have sex often. While many persons may disagree, you should make yourself available to have sex whenever he wants to! If he wants to have sex every day, take care of him -- unless health doesn't permit it. Even if you don't "feel" like it, it will be worth it. Take care of him, and he will take care of you.

* Take care of you. If you want to keep him home, and want him to desire you often, then keep yourself looking good. Remember how you looked when he first met you? Try to maintain that look. That is what attracted him in the first place and that is what will keep him. Keep yourself in shape and looking sexy.

* Try different sex tricks. While some men may be unreasonable and ask for things outside of your principles, be prepared to meet him halfway, while not compromising your principles. Try new styles and positions and seek out ways to keep him sexually excited.

* Be sexually appealing at home. Rid yourself of those granny-print long dresses and reach for some sexier skirts, short shorts and tank tops while carrying out your daily chores at home. This will keep him focused on you and make him long to come home at the end of a long day. This will also prevent him from getting involved outside though he may encounter numerous attractive women on a daily basis.

Taking care of his physical needs

Having your man both looking and feeling good is the key to keeping him happy and loyal.

* Dress him up. While not trying to change his style, ensure that he is always neatly and tastefully dressed. Like women, men love to know that they have heads turning simply because they are looking good.

* Ensure that he eats healthy. Preparing his meals and taking care of his surroundings is an important part of taking care of your man. Help him to make the right choices in healthy eating and exercising.

-- Donna Hussey-Whyte

-- Edited by jubalson on Wednesday 31st of March 2010 01:31:21 PM

-- Edited by j_anthony at 12:13, 2007-12-13

-- Edited by madest-one (Mod) on Wednesday 23rd of September 2009 08:37:57 AM

WILL BE FIXED SOOON!!

-- Edited by steppz on Sunday 1st of November 2009 07:29:36 PM

Kerry from jamaica




Stef from haiti


Christine