For a stellar sex life, first you have to lose your inhibitions. Bring out your inner wild child like this. Believe it or not, the key to being a great bedmate and enjoying yourself in the sack isn't all about having technical sex skills.
What's essential is being able to let go. In fact, 46 percent of men surveyed by Sexing Jamaica said the one thing they want more of in bed is enthusiasm. "You need to tune out the world and focus your entire body and mind on the erotic experience," says sex therapist Linda De Villers, Ph.D., author of Love Skills. We'll show you how to throw yourself full-throttle into the action.
Be in the Moment
It's hard to be unbridled in bed when you're worried about jiggly thighs, squooshy sex noises and whether your man is enjoying himself. To be fully present in the encounter, you have to get into a no-stress, thought-free zone by minimizing any mood-killing distractions. "Turn down the lights so you're not as body-conscious, unplug the phone to avoid interruption and pop in soft music that will inspire your sexual side," says love coach Pam Spurr, Ph.D., author of Make Love All Night and Talk to Him in the Morning. Then, get in the right mind-set by focusing solely on all the sensations. "Think about how he feels inside you, visualize him going in and out and rubbing against you," says Spurr. "Not only will it help you get into a rhythm with your man, but it'll also make the sex more of a physical, tactile experience rather than a psychological one."
Make Some Noise
You may feel silly when an "Oh God, yes!" escapes your mouth during orgasm, but most men love the background vocals. "When you make sounds during sex, it lets your guy know that he's pleasing you, which is a major turn-on for him," De Villers points out. But how do you go from silent sex kitten to out-loud lioness? To start, don't fake it: If you try to make noises that don't come naturally, you'll feel more awkward. Instead, just start slow. "When you feel a moan coming on, resist your urge to stifle yourself and let it out," says Betty Dodson, Ph.D., author of Orgasms for Two. "You may also want to try saying what's in your head, like, 'That feels so good,' or 'Keep doing that.'" As you become more comfortable being audible, you won't worry so much about what you sound like during an intense, climactic moment.
Get in the Game
To truly unleash your inner sex goddess, you have to adopt an assertive erotic attitude and be a proactive participant in the action. Meaning: You need to play the role of bedroom boss and let your man know what you want. "When you take charge of the sexual encounter, you're able to use your whole body and control your own pleasure," says De Villers. "That can't happen when you're pinned underneath him like a dead fish." So throw your man on the bed, hop on top and ride away until you reach your maximum passion potential. Switch things up by gyrating in circles or thrusting back and forth rather than just up and down. Change the pace or angle of penetration. Not only will the sack session be as wild and crazy as you want it to be, but your guy will get off on your calling the shots too.
Don't Be Shy
Researchers have found that women who adopt a submissive role during sex experience decreased levels of arousal. SOURCE: UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN STUDY
A YOUNG BLACK WOMAN'S GUIDE TO SURVIVAL10 THINGS YOUR MOTHER SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOU: Written by: Dana Orr,
10. BE SELECTIVE IN FRIENDSHIPS.
Friendship is not charity, it's a give-and-take relationship. Your friends should be people you love, admire and respect. Don't be afraid to expand, or change your circle of friends. As you get older, you may head in a different direction than those you once considered your "best friends forever". As you evolve and mature, you may grow apart from friends who no longer fulfill you - it's ok! Hold this person in your heart, but be true to yourself when devoting time, energy and emotion to anyone you seriously consider a "friend".
9. RE-INVENT YOURSELF WHEN NECESSARY.
Self-reinvention is a way to constantly reflect and assess your goals and priorities in your personal, academic and professional life. The concept of self-reinvention allows you to reconsider your lifestyle and, at any given moment, change a particular course of action. The beauty of this process is that you don't have to beat yourself up about behavior you consider undesirable. You should actually feel great that you have enough sense to realize the error of your ways (whatever they may be), and can spontaneously commit to change. Congratulations - you just solved a problem!
8. PROTECT YOURSELF.
HIV/AIDS is the #1 killer of black women ages 19-27 in America. You are not corny or lame if you insist on an HIV test before having sex with someone. In fact, you're stupid to give up responsibility for your health and put your life in someone else's hands. Please DO NOT FALL FOR the age-old trick: "Look at me - what am I supposed to do now?!" All men masturbate. Politely tell your partner that he should focus on "self- love" until you're certain that he deserves to enter your temple.
7. JEALOUSY IS A WASTED EMOTION.
People who love themselves and recognize their worth are unable to be jealous of others. Why? You should be so preoccupied with loving yourself and changing what you don't like, you have no time to worry about what others are doing. Being jealous of someone is a waste of energy. You cannot control other people and the choices they make, or the luck they have. Weak people let other's circumstances affect their self-love and/or self-worth. Resist the temptation to be envious, as it will get you nowhere. If anything, let other people motivate you to achieve certain goals for yourself.
6. CARRY YOURSELF LIKE A LADY.
Embrace that which makes you a woman, and by all means, take advantage of the privileges that we have. Force men around you to treat you with the respect they would their mother, aunt or sister. Insist that your doors be opened for you, order your food first in a restaurant, and sit in the front seat if you are the only female in the car. There is nothing wrong with being "pleasantly demanding". Along with the privilege of womanhood comes a certain responsibility. Being a true "lady" means you exhibit manners that would make your grandmother proud, your clothes are tasteful and appropriate for your age, and your hair and nails are always clean. These little things make a big difference i n how you are viewed by outsiders, and the quality of men that you attract.
5. KEEP UP WITH CURRENT EVENTS.
Staying in touch with what's going on in the world is very important. Not only is it important to be aware of national and global issues, it makes you a lot more interesting to others because you always have something to talk about. It doesn't take much to watch the news, read the newspaper online, or buy an issue of TIME magazine or Newsweek. Don't forget - parents and teachers are a great source of information on current events, and would love to have a conversation with you about something "serious".
4. Travel. Do you have a passport? If not, get one. Before you are saddled with the responsibilities of a job and a family, take advantage of your freedom and travel. Instead of buying a new outfit, buy a plane ticket. See other parts of the world and observe other cultures. More importantly, have fun! Plan a trip with a friend to a social event in another city, a beach on an island, or a city in a foreign country. Capture your memories with photos or in a diary (or a blog). You will cherish them forever.
3. Be Proud To Be Black.
Black culture and heritage is based on strength, perseverance, and rich talents. You should have an overwhelming sense of cultural pride - as black people, we are so very special. Don't EVER feel as if you aren't equal to another person simply because you're black. If you have any question as to the importance of black people to our society, or how smart, beautiful, talented, funny and fascinating we are, start reading. Watch old movies. Read plays. Go see plays. Buy tickets for dance and musical performances. Seek opportunities to study academic topics involving, or related to, black people. Talk to your relatives that lived through some of the historical events you've heard about. Get on the Internet and study people with whom you're familiar. Keep in mind, black pride doesn't mean exclusion of others. It is most impressive when you seek to educate other cultures about the beauty and greatness of being black.
2. Have a Cause.
As long as you're here, it is your duty as a human being to help make the world a better place. Let your natural talents and passion lead you to an issue that keeps your attention, and to which you can commit your time and money. Get involved with groups that already exist. If your particular cause is new or unique, start your own group and make your friends join. Helping others is an easy way to feel good about yourself, and invest in the future of your community.
1. Love Yourself.
This is #1 and most important, yet challenging, mission to accomplish. Self-love is critical to survival at any age, and may be quite a personal journey. Loving yourself means recognizing, developing and honoring a sense of self-worth. Loving yourself means you have zero tolerance for anyone or anything that doesn't love you and respect you. Loving yourself also means you must treat yourself well, simply because no one else will do it for you.
Good hair is a mystery to me. All my life black and white ppl tell me I have good hair. Other ppl may have a different opinion. Eg. my wife hates the good hair I passed on to my little girl. He hair is more curly and not as wavy as mine and not as straight as my step daughter. They along with my wife have 3 types of hair all beautiful to me but they never satisfied. My ex wife hated her hair now she has locks.
God blessed us with variety what is good hair???????? Is some better than others.....Ladies tell a brother
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LADIES IN DA ZOOOOOOOONE JUS HAD A LOOK AT D TOPIC OF GIRLS & 'BADBOYS' SOME OF U LADIES TALK ABOUT ATTRACTING OR BEING ATTRACTED TO GANGSTAS SO D QUESTION WHE BORN NOW HOW MANY OF Y'ALL GANGSTA ENUFF TO SQUEEZE OFF FOR YU MAN ? EVEN IF A FI SHUBB EEN A ICEPICK...
PERSONALLY MI WANT A GIRL GANGSTA ENUFF TO APPEAR HELPLESS BUT WHEN NECESSARY CAN GO ALL OUT DEVA FI ME !
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Penis breath, a lover's dread Is what you get when you give head Unpleasant as it tends to be Be grateful that he doesn't pee It's times like this, you wonder why you bothered reaching for his fly But it's too late, can't be a tease Accept the facts, get on your knees You know you've got a job to do So open wide and shove it through Lick the tip then take it all Don't drag your teeth or he might bawl Slide up and down, use your tongue And feel the precum start to run So when the f**k's he gonna cum Just, when you can't take anymore You hear your lover's mighty roar And when he hits that real high note You feel it oozing down your throat Salty, fishy, sticky, yuck!y stuff Okay, already that's enough Let's switch you say, before you gag And what's your revenge, your on the rag.